By Cyber Daimyo
Part Four
Gadget Hackwrench: Welcome back to Rescue Rangers Celebrity Jeopardy. Our episode for this afternoon was planned to be cancelled with the next terrorist threat from the Muslim lands, but we decided to do it anyway. Also, let's please refrain from using ethnic slurs. That said, let's take a look at the scores. Julie Bihn, the member of the Acorn Cafe and a major Rescue Rangers fan, is in first place with $250.
Julie Bihn: Gadget Hackwrench, you are a major genius! I love you, you big-eared gal! Your house is like Dexter's Laboratory! Thank you.
Mepps: I told you to do this backstage. [ laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Break it up, will ya?! Moving on, we have Erol in second place with negative $2,000.
Erol: Don't I tell you about it? I don't like you at all. Hey, I've got Desiree Delure, my fetching boss! You should see her, Miss Hackwrench!
Gadget Hackwrench: That's impressive, Erol. Moving on, in third place, we have Mepps with an incredible negative $30,000.
Mepps: You stink, Gadget. I'll be taking over tommorow. [ Mepps and Erol laughs wildly ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Yes, I like that. But right now, let's take a look at the categories for Double Jeopardy. And they are: Potent Potables, Movies Starring Either Bruce Willis or Arnold Schwarzenegger, Foods That End In "Heeseburger," Atari, Celebrity Who Are Either Rescue Rangers or Members of the Acorn Cafe, Terrorist Attacks, and finally Things Giving What Names. Julie Bihn, you are in first place so we will start with you.
Julie Bihn: Yeah. I'll take Foods Ending In Heeseburger, Bacon Heeseburger, Double Heeseburger, and Pepsi for $500.
Gadget Hackwrench: That is Foods Ending In Heeseburger, Miss Bihn, for $600. This food is like a hamburger, but with cheese on it. [ Bihn buzzes in ] Miss Bihn.
Julie Bihn: What is Olympia Restaurant? [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: No! That is not right. [ Erol buzzes in ] Erol.
Erol: Um, what is The Desiree Special? [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: No.
Erol: You do hate Delure's cooking, don't you, sweetie? [ laughs ]
Mepps: Erol, you son of a gun! [ Erol and Mepps laughs wildly together ]
Gadget Hackwrench: [ takes a sip from her soda ] Erol, you are totally an idiot, aren't you?
Erol: [ laughs ] Yes, I am. [ laughing while pounding on his podium ]
Gadget Hackwrench: The answer was cheeseburger. Miss Bihn, please pick another category.
Julie Bihn: I'll take Chip Maplewood for $400.
Gadget Hackwrench: Please, rest assured, Julie, we already covered this in our first round and Chip Maplewood is not a category. And since that you're being uncooperative, I'll pick for you. Terrorist Attacks for $200. This attack happened on Sept. 11, 2001, the largest terrorist attack on the U.S. [ Erol buzzes in ] Erol?
Erol: What is the attack of the Brotherhood of NOD? [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: That is not the right attack. Someone else please. [ Mepps buzzes in ] Mepps.
Mepps: That would be the attack of Sailor Moon in her F/A-18E Super Hornet. [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: [ grumpy ] I hate my job. The answer is the attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Mepps, go ahead and pick a category.
Mepps: The day is mine! I'll take Thanksgiving Names for $400.
Gadget Hackwrench: That's Things Giving What Names, not Thanksgiving Names. This explorer named, Christopher, gave the name of Columbus, Ohio." [ Mepps buzzes in ] Mepps.
Mepps: A turkey pecking on me. [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: It's not anything relating to Thanksgiving, Mepps, and the board is still yours.
Mepps: I'll take Foods Ending In Heeseburger, Bacon Heeseburger, Double Heeseburger, Pepsi, Large Fries, and a Large Shake for $200.
Julie Bihn: Excellent, Mepps.
Mepps: Thanks, Julie.
Gadget Hackwrench: Mepps, this is starting to get on my nerves! You know what, let's just go to Final Jeopardy. The category is, Who's Your most-loved? Just tell me who you are in love with and you win. [ Present day Final Jeopardy Theme plays ] For example, Julie could say Steven "Indy" Hamrick. Or better yet, Erol can write down, Desiree Delure, and Mepps can write down my name. Anybody. I do not care if you lie to me. [ music stops ] Okay, let's start with Julie Bihn. You wrote down: Steven "Indy" Hamrick. That's spectacular. And let's see what you have wagered: Friends. That's just excellent.
Julie Bihn: You rock, Gadget!
Gadget Hackwrench: All right. Moving on, Erol wrote down: Desiree Delure. That should be a fair answer to me. And you wagered: And I were sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Good for you. [ Erol smiles as Mepps laughs ]
Erol: Hey, Mepps, that was my idea, not yours, you stupid tomcat.
Mepps: Oh yeah, Erol, you are way too darn clever to become the cream of the idiot crop like me.
Gadget Hackwrench: Very Well. Finally, let's look at what Mepps wrote down: Gadget Hackwrench. Okay, that is a good answer as well.
Mepps: Yeah, girl, I know that I have been insulting you many times already, but the time has come for me to end the insulting once and for all. [ chuckles lightly as he pats Gadget on the back ]
Gadget Hackwrench: [ smiling ] Okay, Mepps, let's see what you've wagered:
Drools and Mepps rules. [ Mepps laughs wildly as he slaps Gadget on the head
] Shame on you, Mepps. Well, that's all for Rescue Rangers Celebrity Jeopardy.
Good night. [ Erol does the Moonwalk while Gadget leaves the stage ]