By Cyber Daimyo
Part Five
Gadget Hackwrench: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. As you know, all of our contestants are playing for charity, so let's check out the scores. Mepps has a massive negative $65,000 for risking 60 grand on his Daily Double Clue.
Mepps: Darn you and your crazy Daily Doubles, you crazy ninja! Someday, you are going to wish that you were never been born!
Gadget Hackwrench: For the last time, Mepps, ethnic slurs are strictly forbidden, okay? Wanda Clutchcoin has negative $800.
Wanda Clutchcoin: Gadget, my dear, wouldn't it be better for me that I should just let me and my sister pay you the money instead of letting my charity?
Gadget Hackwrench: Absolutely not. And in a commanding lead is the Acorn Cafe Member, Redswift with $9.
Redswift: My arm is on the podium! My arm is on the podium! I eat lots of sodium! My arm is on the podium!
Gadget Hackwrench: Thank you, Redswift. It's time for Doubl....
[ Redswift walks over and puts his arm around Gadget ]
Redswift: My arm is on Gadget! My arm is on Gadget! My favorite movie is Inspector Gadget! My arm is on Gadget!
[ Gadget pushes Redswift away as he returns to his podium ]
Gadget Hackwrench: As I was saying, The categories are: Potent Potables, Best Assets, Shapes and Sizes, 3 plus 3, Say Your Own Name, True or False, and finally Famous Disney Chipmunks. And the answer to every question in THAT category is Chip And Dale.
Redswift: Hey! Speaking of chipmunks..... [ pulls out a plush chipmunk ] [ Imitates Dale ] Hey there, I'm Dale, and I'm stupider like I.R. Baboon.
Wanda Clutchcoin: UUUHHHH!! Get that plush toy of your out of my face! [ pushes Redswift's plush toy away from her ]
Mepps: Very interesting, Redswift. May I see that thing for a moment?
Redswift: Go ahead. [ Redswift hands plush chipmunk to Mepps who throws it at Gadget ]
Gadget Hackwrench: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! [ throws the plush chipmunk back at Mepps ]
Mepps: Ah-HA! I told you she screams like a wussy. [ laughing ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Okay, you guys, enough! Redswift, select a category.
Redswift: 3 plus 3 for $400.
Gadget Hackwrench: 3 plus 3 equals "This." [ Wanda buzzes in ] Miss Clutchcoin.
Wanda Clutchcoin: I have no idea.
Gadget Hackwrench: Huh? Then why did you buzz in?
Wanda Clutchcoin: Because it's fun. [ buzzes in repeatedly ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Okay, stop that! [ Redswift buzzes in ] Redswift.
Redswift: My hand is on the buzzer! My hand is on the buzzer! The buzzy buzzy buzzer! My hand is on the buzzer! [ laughs ]
Mepps: Back in my days, we used to play with sticks and twigs and Wart got a splinter in his hand.
Gadget Hackwrench: The answer was six. Mepps, please choose.
Mepps: Don't mind if I do, you cute ninja! I'll take Best Assaults for $1,000.
Gadget Hackwrench: That's Best Assets, Mepps.
Mepps: [ buzzes in ] The Gulf War!
Wanda Clutchcoin: [ buzzes in ] Attack on Sicily!
Gadget Hackwrench: For the last time, it's ASSETS!
[ Redswift buzzes in and pulls out a bouncing ball ]
Redswift: This is my ball. This is my ball. Ball, ball, ball, ball. I like to make my ball fall. I like to make my ball fall...
Gadget Hackwrench: Please, Redswift. Just can it! Tell you what. Let's just go to Final Jeopardy. The category is... [ rips card ] You know what? Why don't we just forget the question. All you have to do to win is write down your favorite color. [ Present day Final Jeopardy theme plays ] We'll accept any color at all. If you like red, write down red. You can even lie to me if you want. It's THAT simple. There's no way you can get this wrong. [ music ends ] And now let's see how they wrote it down. Mepps wrote down: [ screen shows a picture of Gadget, being chased by an AH-64D Longbow Apache ] Okay. That was uncalled for.
Mepps: A little flashback of mine. A great memory, it was. [ laughing ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Whatever you say, Mepps. Wanda Clutchcoin, let's see what your answer was: [ screen shows a picture of an orange ] You drew a picture of an orange.
Wanda Clutchcoin: Well, orange is a color, isn't it?
Gadget Hackwrench: Well, I'll tell you what. Despite your learning disabilities, we'll accept that as a correct answer. And you wagered: Fat Cat Bites.
Wanda Clutchcoin: Someday, I'll make Fat Cat and his terrorizing goons pay for robbing my house. You'll see.
Gadget Hackwrench: That's nice. Let's go to Redswift who appears to have his plush chipmunk in his mouth. Let's see what he got: Purplue. A combination of Purple and Blue. Simply stunning. And you wagered Kitty Kat.
Redswift: [ mumbling because of the squirrel in his mouth ]
Gadget Hackwrench: I'm sorry?
Redswift: [ mumbling some more ]
Gadget Hackwrench: I can't understand a word you're saying.
[ Mepps walks over and slaps Redswift's back, sending the plush squirrel flying out of his mouth ]
Mepps: Whoa, Redswift! You have dolly breath.
Gadget Hackwrench: Now what were you trying to say, Redswift?
Redswift: I was saying, Incoming Bus!
[ Gadget hears Greyhound Bus, screeching and crashing through the stage as gadget immediately jumps off the stage ]
Greyhound Bus: Why didn't you move out of the way, you FOOL?! Hey, guys. I'm going to go to Los Angeles. Wanna ride?
Mepps: Sure, Greyhound!
Wanda Clutchcoin: Can we stop by Circuit City along the way?
Redswift: I'll come with you, Greyhound!
Greyhound Bus: Then get in, you guys, because I have the rest of the Rescue rangers gang with me who are dying to go to Los Angeles.
Dale Oakmont: Hey, Gadget, my honorable genius, come on in and ride with us.
Monterey Jack Colby: Yeah, my love, it's going to be an adventure!
Wart: Come on, Gadget, let's keep the groovy bus moving!
Mole: Hey, Gadget, we can stop by at some of your favorite shopping places along the way.
Gadget Hackwrench: All right! [ walks inside the bus ]
Desiree Delure: Welcome to the party, Gadget.
Norton Nimnull: I think that's everybody, Greyhound Bus, so let's go!
Gadget Hackwrench: [ with extreme happiness ] So long for Rescue Rangers
Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm going on a cruise with Greyhound Bus and the rest of
my Rescue Rangers gang. Good day! [ Greyhound bus drives away onto the street
with Gadget and the gang ]