Rescue Rangers Celebrity Jeopardy
By Cyber Daimyo
Part Three
Gadget Hackwrench: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. And let's take a look at the scores. Norton Nimnull has -$2,000. In a close second with -$1,900 is Wescott Vance Atticas. [ Wescott is making several facial expressions ] And in first place, with $0, is our returning champion Mole, who, of course, has yet to ring in. It's time now for Double Jeopardy. And once again for this round, contestants, I'd like to remind you, please, no cursing. Let's take a look at the board. The categories are: CONTINENTS, THEATER, POTPOURRI, POTENT POTABLES, NUMBERS, WORDS THAT RHYME WITH DOG, and finally, THE RENAISSANCE. And you know what, let's just replace that last category with SHAPES. [ The tile saying THE RENAISSANCE is flipped over to reveal SHAPES ] Mole, you pick the category.
Mole: Yeah, give me, uh, THEATER for $10,000.
Gadget Hackwrench: THEATER for $600. The answer is: 'This play by William Shakespeare was about a merchant who lived in Venice.' [ Mole buzzes in ] Mole.
Mole: Yeah, that was Footloose. [ nods ] Good flick, Footloose.
Gadget Hackwrench: No. And please answer in the form of a question. [ Nimnull buzzes in ] Norton Nimnull.
Norton Nimnull: Is this a horror flick we're talking about? 'Cause I love horror flicks.
Gadget Hackwrench: It's.. it's not a flick at all!
Norton Nimnull: Okay. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Gadget Hackwrench: No. And please answer in the form of a question.
Norton Nimnull: That was a question! Who framed him? [ Atticas buzzes in ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Mr. Atticas. [ Atticas makes facial expressions without answering ] Mr. Atticas. [ Atticas continues doing facial expressions until the buzzer sounds ] [ Looking at the judges from offstage ] I.. I don't think we can accept facial expressions as an answer. Mole, it's your board, pick a category.
Mole: I'll take the dog one.
Gadget Hackwrench: All right, WORDS THAT RHYME WITH DOG, for $400. And the answer is: 'It's been a "Hard Day's Night" I should be sleeping like a "This."' [ Mole buzzes in ] Mole.
Mole: Chinese dork.
Gadget Hackwrench: No. [ Nimnull buzzes in ] Norton Nimnull.
Norton Nimnull: Chinese dork doesn't rhyme with dog.
Gadget Hackwrench: That's why it was a wrong answer. [ Atticas buzzes in ] Mr. Atticas.
Wescott Atticas: I'm Batman.
Gadget Hackwrench: No, you are not. And the board still belongs... [ Mole buzzes in three times ] What, Mole?
Mole: I think, uh, I think my buzzer's broken.
Gadget Hackwrench: No, it's not, you just buzzed in.
Mole: No I didn't. [ buzzes in twice ] I think it... I think it's broken.
Gadget Hackwrench: Mr. Nimnull, why don't you pick a category.
Norton Nimnull: CONTINENTS for $600.
Gadget Hackwrench: And it's the Audio Daily Double. How much do you want to wager?
Norton Nimnull: I'm gonna play it safe. I'll wager zero dollars.
Gadget Hackwrench: All right, for $0. Here's your Audio Daily Double clue: 'Name this continent.' [ A loud voice says "Asia." Nimnull doesn't answer ] Mr. Nimnull. [ The voice says "Asia" again, but Nimnull still doesn't answer as the buzzer sounds ] Time has run out. The answer was 'Asia.' [ Mole pats Nimnull on the back. ]
Mole: Ah, tough luck there buddy, huh?
Gadget Hackwrench: Okay, moving on... [ Mole buzzes in ] What is it, Mole?
Mole: [ points at Nimnull ] Check out this guy's back.
Norton Nimnull: What? [ turns around to reveal a "Kick Me" sign on his back ]
Gadget Hackwrench: That's nice, you put a "Kick Me" sign on Mr. Nimnull's back.
Mole: Yeah, ha-ha.
Norton Nimnull: Oh that's... that's good!
Mole: I did it when he... I did it when he wasn't looking.
Gadget Hackwrench: That's very nice. Good job, Mole. Tell you what, we're gonna let Wescott Atticas pick a category.
Wescott Atticas: All right, um, NUMBER. See, because sometimes it helps to understand a word if we break it down. Let's do that now, shall we? Num, see, if you're numb, you can't feel... See, yeah if you're numb you can't feel. And then Ber...
Gadget Hackwrench: NUMBERS for $800. And the answer is: 'This number comes between five and seven.' [ Atticas buzzes in ] Mr. Atticas.
Wescott Atticas: ...See and then Ber, if you're, you know if you're cold, that's the sound that you would make. I guess I, I guess my answer will be, uh, somebody who can't feel that they're, uh, that they're cold.
Gadget Hackwrench: No.
Wescott Atticas: What is somebody who can't feel when they're cold?
Gadget Hackwrench: No, no, Mr. Atticas, I know what you're trying to do, just stop. [ Mole buzzes in ] Mole.
Burt Reynolds: Yeah, I think I fixed it. My buzzer, I think I fixed it. [ buzzes in three times ]
Gadget Hackwrench: I see. You know what, let's just move on to Final Jeopardy with every player in negative numbers. And the category is... [ looks at card ] you know what, this is way too hard, I'm just gonna make one up. [ throws away card ] How about your favorite food? Just write down whatever food you personally like most, any food you like to eat. [ 1980s Final Jeopardy theme song starts ] Your favorite food. [ Atticas walks over to mole's podium and looks down at Mole's writing ] Keep in mind you can't be wrong. You can even lie to me and just put down a food. [ music stops ] Okay, and put down your pens. Mr. Nimnull, let's see what you put. Your favorite food is... [ shows Nimnull's screen ] 'Miso.' A type of soup. Excellent! And your wager... [ shows Nimnull's wager ] Boring. Me so boring. [ Nimnull laughs ] Great.
Norton Nimnull: Come on, that's hilarious! Come on!
Gadget Hackwrench: No, it's not. Now, let's look at Mole's answer. [ shows Mole's screen ] 'Check out Atticas' back.' [ Atticas turns around to reveal the "Kick Me" sign on his back ]
Mole: Ha-ha!
Gadget Hackwrench: Right. Very funny.
Mole: Yeah, he didn't know it was on there.
Gadget Hackwrench: Shut up. Just shut up. Let's see what Mr. Atticas came up with. You wrote... [ shows Atticas' screen ] 'Corey Burton bites.'
Wescott Atticas: I'm Batman.
Gadget Hackwrench: Okay, and your wager... [ shows Atticas' wager ] 'Tressa MacNeille bites.' Well, no one won, apparently.
Mole: I won.
Gadget Hackwrench: No, you didn't.
Mole: Sure I did.
Gadget Hackwrench: Anyway. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. Once again, no money will be given to charity.
Mole: Seriously, I did win.
Gadget Hackwrench: No, you didn't.
Mole: Yeah, I did.