Rescue Rangers Celebrity Jeopardy
By Cyber Daimyo
Part Four
Gadget Hackwrench: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I apologize for what happened before the commercial and would like to ensure the audience that all three contestants are now wearing pants. That's said, let's take a look at the scores. Fat Cat has -$79,000.
Fat Cat: ALL ABOARD!!!! [ laughs hysterically like a hyena ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Fantastic. Foxglove has a commanding lead with zero.
Foxglove: Gadget, I've transformed this simple game show podium into a rich garden of the Foxglove clan, using yellow daffodils and black roses. I really treasure it.
Gadget Hackwrench: Wow. And in third place... [ sighs ] Mepps.
Mepps: We meet again, Gadget. I noticed you weren't able to sit down during the break. What's wrong, sweetie? Did you have a date with Chip last night? [ laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Thank you, Mepps. Now let's take a look at the categories for Double Jeopardy. They are: POTENT POTABLES, DRUMMERS NAMED RINGO, STATES THAT BEGIN WITH "CALIFORN," RICHARD NIXON, THE NUMBER AFTER 2, FAMOUS KAREEM ABDUL-JABBARS, and finally, DON'T DO ANYTHING. [ Mepps rings in ] What is it, Mepps?
Mepps: Knock, knock.
Gadget Hackwrench: Who's there?
Mepps: Me, the guy who wore your goggles last night. [ laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Let's just go with DRUMMERS NAMED RINGO for $400. And the answer is: This Ringo was the "Starr" drummer for the Beatles. [ Foxglove rings in ] Foxglove.
Foxglove: I'm so terribly lonely.
Gadget Hackwrench: I know. [ Mepps rings in ] Mepps. The drummer for the Beatles.
Mepps: Girlie Dorkwrench.
Gadget Hackwrench: Who is Girlie Dorkwrench?
Mepps: Apparently, you are. [ Gadget takes a drink from her soda as Mepps laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: The answer of course is Ringo Starr. Fat Cat, you get to choose.
Fat Cat: Choose? I'll take Charleston Choo for 16 million!
Gadget Hackwrench: Let's just go with DON'T DO ANYTHING. The answer is: Don't do anything. Don't ring your buzzer, just remain motionless and you all win. [ Fat Cat rings in ] Fat Cat, you just lost. Well, at least the two other contestants-- [ Foxglove rings in ] why did you ring your buzzer?!
Foxglove: Because that sound reminds me of a legendary samurai genius mouse of the 21st century.
Gadget Hackwrench: Well, congratulations, Mepps, you ar-- [ Mepps rings in ] what? [ ticked off ] Why did you do that?!
Mepps: Because I hate you, Gadget. [ laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Mepps, it's your board.
Mepps: Certainly, it is, you beef-packed intelligent samurai mouse. [ points to board with his marker ] Lookie at what I did. [ Mepps shows that he edited the category RICHARD NIXON into MEPPS NIXON, GADGET'S WORST NIGHTMARE. ] [ Mepps laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: All right. Fantastic. All right, let's just end this and go to Final Jeopardy. [ looks at card ] The category is-- you know what? I'll tell you what... [ rips card ] The category is Things you like. Just write down or draw a picture of something you like. [ 1980s Final Jeopardy theme starts ] If you like circles, draw a circle. Fat Cat could draw a Charleston Choo. Mepps could draw me, fooling around. Anything at all. [ music stops ] Well, let's start with Fat Cat. He wrote... [ shows "monkeys" ] monkeys. Fine. That's great. You like monkeys.
Fat Cat: No, I don't like monkeys. They're awful! I had a monkey one time, but he betrayed me and my gang and teamed up with the Rescue Rangers, so I quit caring for monkeys. [ laughs ]
Gadget Hackwrench: Is something wrong with your brain. Foxglove seems very confident. Let's see what she wrote... [ a blank screen appears ] Absolutely nothing.
Foxglove: Gadget, I'm filthy rich. I don't need your chunk change.
Gadget Hackwrench: You're playing for charity.
Foxglove: I don't care.
Gadget Hackwrench: Please seek some counseling. And finally, Mepps you wrote... [ screen reads "Gadget Hackwrench" ] Gadget Hackwrench. I...I can't believe it. Something you like is me.
Mepps: Yeah, girl. I know I'm hard on you, but it's all in good times.
Gadget Hackwrench: I...I don't know what to say. Let's see how much you wagered... [ wager reveals the word "bites" ] Bites. [ Mepps laughs as he slaps Gadget on the head ]
Gadget Hackwrench: I can't believe I fell for
that. So long for Celebrity Jeopardy. Good Gravy! [ Mepps keeps on laughing
as he leaves his podium while Gadget leaves the stage ]