The Failed Tale of Robin Dale
Part Three - Cliffhangers Galore
By Chip Chap
INT: Ranger HQ - Chip and Dale’s Room - Night
Bink is already in bed and Monterey is sitting in his chair.
Monterey:
All right then, are you all tucked in and read.
Bink:
Yes, Uncle Monty.
Monterey:
Ok then, while the King’s close companions were sailing to the far-off
land of Samiam. Sheriff Foxglove was hatching a fiendish plan to capture Robin
Dale...
INT: Nottingspam - Sheriffs office - Day
Sheriff Foxglove is pacing around the room and occasionally glancing at a large map of Sureluck forest. The map is divided into several sections, many of which are crossed out. A number of soda pop ninjas are standing behind a counter and listening to various townspeople. Lou is sitting at a desk counting money.
Foxglove (looking at the map):
Oh, Robin Dale. How I wish that our duties did not set us at odds against each
other, but I cannot hide from my responsibilities. As long as you continue to
rob from the rich, I must hunt you down and seek to imprison you. (Foxglove
thinks for a moment and giggles) Although I would probably be doing that anyway.
Lou (while counting the money):
Listen Foxy, I don’t think that you should be going all sentimental over
that scoundrel. Don’t forget, he’s got that bunch of baddies behind
him and I bet they’re burning to get a certain bat in a bad bit.
Foxglove:
I know that! I just wish that I could meet up with Robin Dale without having
to worry about those Merry Men of his.
Foxglove thinks for a bit and then gets an idea.
Foxglove:
I know, if I want to spend time with Robin Dale, all I have to do is join his
gang.
Lou (flinching and almost losing count):
What?! You’re thinking of defecting to the other side?!
Foxglove:
Well it would only be for long enough to get to Dale. I mean, if I could just
let him know how I felt, I’m sure he would see the error of his ways and
stop robbing people.
Lou (shocked):
Sheriff, that is an incredibly bad idea, if you were to try joining them, the
Merry Men would see right through your trick and kill you!
Foxglove (insulted):
Trick?! I would never lie about my true feeling! Do you think I am the sort
of person to use deception and toy with the feelings of others to attain my
goals?
Lou (apologetically):
No! I didn’t say that! I’m just saying that you shouldn’t get
near the Merry Men without some backup. You’re the only thing keeping them
from taking over the place, and the idea of getting rid of you would be really
temping for them.
Foxglove sighs and sits down in a nearby chair.
Foxglove (sighing):
I guess your right, but I just can’t stop dreaming about that lovable chipmunk.
I know he may be on the wrong side of the law, but that guy has stolen my heart
and I just won’t give up until I catch him.
Lou:
Well, that may be the case, but no matter how you feel about that thief it is
your duty to rid the populace of that band of scoundrels and misfits.
Foxglove:
I know that... but... Wait a minute!
Foxglove gets up and looks at the map again.
Foxglove:
Robin Dale’s hideout has to be somewhere in Sureluck Forest, and it’s
hidden by all the trees...
Lou:
Well that’s what I always thought.
Foxglove:
But that’s because nobody’s allowed to cut them down. In order for
people to get firewood, they have to run around collecting tiny sticks and hay
and stuff, which nobody in town has time to do since they’re all busy breaking
their legs or weaving tattered shawls so that Robin Dale will give them handouts...
Lou (surprised):
They are?
Lou looks out the window and sees a carpenter outside set a stock on the side of the road and lock himself in it. A mother rabbit in lovely white dress takes her dozen happy and well-dressed children into a tailors shop and a few minutes later they all emerge wearing tattered and dusty clothes, a few children have ragged and threadbare dolls while two are showing off their snazzy new bandages.
Lou looks away from the window and shakes the thought from his head.
Lou (returning to his counting):
Man, the recession has hit everyone hard.
Foxglove (mot listening to Lou):
...so the only people who would go into Sureluck forest would either be criminals
or...
Foxglove stops and smiles.
FADE OUT
Monterey (vo):
Now, while the Sheriff had just discovered how to capture Robin Dale, Lord Mickey
and a small group had just arrived at the far off country of Samiam...
INT- Samiam - Beach - Morning
Lord Mickey steps out of a rowboat onto the beach, he is quickly followed by Jake (from the Rescuers Down Under), Basil, and Dawson.
Bink (vo):
Where’s Sir Ratigan?
Monterey (vo):
Huh? Well um...
Basil (hinting to Dawson):
Why exactly are you here again Sir Dawson?
Dawson (looking nervous):
Well I, um I mean Sir Ratigan gets seasick and of course the King needs him
to command the guards so he just sort of sent me in his place.
Basil (shaking his head in disbelief):
Well, I guess... I just hope he doesn’t try reading my big book.
Bink (vo):
Why shouldn’t Sir Ratigan read the big book?
Monterey (vo):
You’ll find out soon enough, Princess. Now the group was being led by a
great trail guide and explorer named Jake who was going to take them to see
the king of Samiam.
Dawson:
Mr. Jake, why don’t we go see the trading colony. We should be able to
find the people who bought the items there.
Basil:
I’m afraid that will not help us, my dear Dawson.
Dawson:
Why’s that?
Basil:
Because this is the trading colony.
Dawson looks around and sees that they are in fact standing in the middle of a huge crater and there are some boards and bits of buildings half-covered with sand laying some distance away from the center of the crater.
Bink (vo):
What happened?
Monterey (vo):
We’ll find out later.
Dawson:
I say Lord Mickey. You really don’t seem to be very good at this trading
thing. Everyone knows you have to attract customers to sell anything and this
certainly doesn’t look very attractive.
Lord Mickey starts to say something but thinks better of it.
Lord Mickey:
Jake, I think we should go see the King and get this settled as soon as possible.
Jake:
Aye Mate! Follow me, I’ll have you in front of his majesty before you can
sing the Samiam National Anthem.
Dawson (as he follows Jake):
What is the Samiam National Anthem?
Jake (as he leads the way through the forest):
Well... it goes something like this...
The group walks along and the music form “Secret Agent Man” starts to play in the background.
Jake (singing):
In the wild one faces lots of dangers.
To predators and poisons we’re no strangers.
Almost everywhere we go...
There are perils we cannot know...
But in the end we cannot live with sorrow.
Everyone (singing):
Every chipmunk can, every chipmunk can.
Keep a smile during peril,
But stay cautious all the same.
Basil (singing):
Beware of night and all the hunters in it.
An owl can catch you long before you hear it.
But don’t let that get you down.
A chipmunk can’t wear a frown.
‘Cause in the end no one can live in sorrow.
Everyone (singing):
Every rodent can, every rodent can.
Keep a smile during peril,
But stay cautious all the same.
Mickey (singing):
Stuff your larder full of acorns in the summer,
Starving in winter really is a bummer.
You just can’t save up too much.
Leftovers will grow into trees and such.
In the end there’s no such thing as sorrow.
Bink (vo):
Mommy says we shouldn’t sing in a dense forest. She say’s it brings
bad luck.
Monterey (vo):
Well your mom’s right, and you’ll find out why soon enough.
Everyone (singing):
Every rodent can, every rodent can.
Keep a smile during peril,
But stay cautious all the same.
Dawson is about to start singing when Jake turns around and sees Fat Cat sneaking up on them.
Jake (in alarm):
Holy Crickey!
Jake, Mickey and Basil make a run for it but Dawson is standing around singing his song.
Dawson (singing all alone):
You’d better be quiet or predators will hear you...
You really do not want one of them near you!
So you’d better watch you back,
Or you’ll turn into a snack!
If you don’t know that, you’re some kind of biza-
Jake grabs Dawson and yanks him away just before Fat Cat lunges at them.
Jake (pushing Dawson from behind as Fat Cat chases them):
Crickey, Mate! Run for your life!
The Group runs through the forest with Fat Cat hot on their tails until they run into a muddy spot on the ground and fall down a muddy slope. The mice all slide down to the base of a gnarled tree but Fat Cat gets his head stuck under a tree root, he tries pulling himself free but he can‘t.
Bink (vo):
They shouldn’t be sitting in the mud. Why didn’t they just climb the
trees to escape?
Monterey (vo):
Well Bink, mice aren't very good at climbing trees, they usually try hiding
in a hole or something, but still a mud pit isn’t a very good place to
be.
Dawson (standing up and trying to wipe the mud off himself):
Oh yuck! I must say, Basil, I am starting to like this country a lot less than
I did a few moments ago...
Basil (also getting up):
That may be, Dawson. But I do believe things could have been more enjoyable
if we had been properly informed about the dangers of this place... (looks at
Jake accusingly)
Jake:
Well Crickey! I never had problems with these critters before, they’re
all... What the wallaby is that bloke doing now?!
Dawson (groping for a towel):
...I mean this place is filthy! I can’t see a thing with all this mud and
I can’t find a towel or anything to... oh wait here’s one.
Bink (vo):
Watch out Mr. Dawson! That’s not a towel! That’s...
Dawson touches Fat Cat’s face and starts wiping his hands on him. Fat Cat glares at Dawson angrily and opens his mouth to eat him.
Dawson (grabbing Fat Cat’s tongue and wiping the muck off his face
with it):
Oh that’s much better. No offense Jake but I really think you could have
taken a different route, I mean this mud is DISGUSTING I may not be a real country
mouse but have my suspicions about what’s in this stuff...
Fat Cat is trying desperately to free himself because Dawson is too far away to attack.
Jake:
Um, Mate I think you should...
Dawson (cleaning his armpits):
...And don’t get me started about the diseases that we might catch in a
mud pit like this. From what I learned in biology class, stagnant water is the
perfect breeding ground for all types of insect larva and microorganisms. And
there could be all sorts of nasties hiding in this muck...
Fat Cat is trying to dig his way out with his claws but the root has them stuck so far back that he can’t get them in position to free himself.
Basil:
Dawson, just walk slowly towards me...
Dawson (cleaning some mud off of his pants):
Well, I just hope that the natives around here are civilized enough to keep
their homes sanitized. I would really hate to get sick in a place like this,
I’d wager that we’d attract every scavenger and vicious animal for
miles around if we were to get weakened in the slightest.
Dawson lets go of Fat Cat’s tongue which snaps back into Fat Cat’s mouth. The group walks off warily.
Bink (vo):
Oh that was scary. But I think that cat is going to get sick from all that mud.
Fat Cat (looking weakly at the camera):
That's why I prefer caviar to mice nowadays.
Fade out
Monterey (vo):
While Sir Basil and everyone was away on their mission to make peace with the
King of Samiam, Sir Ratigan was hatching an evil plan...
INT: Hackwrench Castle - A storage room- night
The room is large and is half full of boxes, barrels, bags, and jars of food. The room is light by only one oil lamp, there is nobody inside.
Monterey (vo):
Sir Ratigan was a greedy for power and had long wanted to get rid of King Geegaw
and rule England himself...
Bink (vo):
That’s not right! King Geegaw was really nice!
Monterey (vo):
That’s very true, Princess. But some people don’t care about things
like that, they just want to get what the want and don’t care what they
have to do to get it.
The door opens and Ratigan enters the room, looking around.
Ratigan (whispering):
Where are those two? I told them to meet me here. If that messenger didn’t
deliver that letter I’ll...
Suddenly two figures sneak out from behind a stack of crates. One of them is short mouse dressed in a suit made of black cloth, he smiles conspiratorially to Ratigan and tugs on a wire-thin mustache. His companion is a tall and thin albino squirrel who is also wearing a black cloth, she stands next to the mouse and scans the room.
Mouse:
Well waddu you know, It’s Sir Ratigan! (to the squirrel) Hey, Beatrice
let’s see what fearless leader has for us today!
Beatrice:
Yes, Nathaniel.
Ratigan:
I want you two to get that Big Book out of the safe where Basil put it, I have
a feeling that it may have just what I need to seize the power I so sorely deserve.
Nathaniel (smiling):
Ooh Boy! Finally a real crime to put on my resume! Where is this safe supposed
to be?
Ratigan:
It’s in the big room full of gold and jewels that’s right next to
the throne room.
Beatrice and Nathaniel both spring to attention, greed gleaming in their eyes.
Nathaniel :
Methinks I’ll be retiring after this job.
Ratigan (in a hushed tone):
No you fool! If you take anything else people will know there was a break-in!
I want this job to be done quietly. After I get my power I’ll reward you
beyond your wildest dreams, but if you mess this up I’ll have you locked
up faster than you can say “Ooh boy!”
Nathaniel:
Ooh boy.
Beatrice:
That was quick.
Ratigan:
Well, now that we understand each other. I hope to have that book in my hands
in three days.
Nathaniel:
Why the rush?
Ratigan:
I want to read that book before Basil gets back and I’ll need about an
hour every day to gloat at my genius.
Nathaniel:
Oooh! That makes sense.
Ratigan sneaks out the door again, leaving the two villains alone in the storage room. Nathaniel thinks for a moment and then begins dancing with joy.
Nathaniel:
Oh boy! Oh boy! Beatice wait till you hear!
Beatrice:
You got plan to break into treasury and get Basil’s big book?
Nathaniel:
You bet I got a plan and ooh boy is it fiendish. Now lets move ,Honeybunch ,
I’m going to need a really big lollypop for this caper...
Fade out.
INT: Ranger HQ - Chip and Dale’s Room - Night
Bink:
What does he need a lollypop for?
Monterey:
I’ll tell you tomorrow, Princess. Now, good night.
Bink:
Good night Uncle Monty.
Monterey gets up and turns out the lights as he leaves the room.
Disclaimer:
Trite Fright Night is Copyright Matt Plotecher
The Rescue Rangers are Copyright Disney
Robin Hood (the animated film) is Copyright Disney
Basil and Ratigan also are Copyright Disney
Jake is copyright Disney
“Secret agent Man” is copyright The ventures