The Tillamook Escapade
Act V: Tag Team Truckadero
“What’s the best way back on the roof?” Gordon asked.
“Right at the end of the dock,” G.G. answered. “There’s a drainpipe we can climb inside like a ladder. It’s a radio dead spot, so watch out.”
Gary nodded. “One at a time. G.G., you first.”
She sprinted away as Gary and Gordon watched. Gadget, frustrated, idly jammed her instrument probe into a package of cheese that had spilled from the torn box. She gasped when the readout jumped, then slammed into the red zone. She quickly stabbed another package with the same result.
“Guys! Back here, I found it!”
The Scruffies hurried back to find her tearing into the box. “The cheese in here just buried the needle on the analyzer! Help me see if there’s more!”
The three of them made short work of the box. Gadget thrust her probe about like a maddened Musketeer and had readings on every package in a matter of moments.
“Only one kind of cheese is toxic,” Gadget called out. “It’s the sliced medium cheddar, and all of it is potential poison!”
“It’s not possible,” Gary called from the top of the box. “We just checked the whole factory. There’s no way a staph bug could get in through the plastic.”
“Don’t tell me what’s not possible,” Gadget shouted back. “I can see what’s happened for myself!”
From behind her came the roar of a Diesel engine starting. She spun about and saw a truck loaded with cheese about to pull away from the loading dock. Her imagination flooded with images of sickened mice filling hospitals and little mouselings dying because they sneaked a nibble.
“We’ve got to stop them!”
“Gadget!” Gary shouted, “you can’t stop a freight truck!”
“I know what I can do!” she bellowed angrily. She took off at a run, leaped off the dock as the truck pulled away, and caught the cargo door handle by her fingertips.
“She’s quick, isn’t she?” Gordon said admiringly.
“How can she have a brain that big and do something that stupid!” Gary raged.
“You’re starting to like her, aren’t you?” Gordon said with a wicked smile.
“Get after her!” Gary ordered. “Whatever she’s doing, help her!”
Gordon raced off the dock on all fours and across the freight yard with speed that made up the distance in seconds. Gary saw him swing up to the trailer from the undercarriage and start to climb after Gadget.
“Hello! Am I missing something?” G.G. had come out of the radio shadow and caught the last of the exchange.
“Yeah!” Gary answered. “Gadget just stuck her tongue in the light socket. Get airborne and follow the truck that’s leaving the yard now, I’ll be right behind you.”
“I’m on it, Elmer.”
“Stick to ‘em like glue, Elsie”
On the truck, Gordon was levering his rubbery outfit through a narrow gap next to the refrigeration unit. Gadget had slipped through without a care, but Gordon’s size made it a tight fit. He dropped into the trailer and concentrated on following the scent of the only thing in the truck that didn’t smell like cheese. He groped ahead blindly, the scent getting stronger, until his hand closed on something comfortably soft that squeaked in surprise.
“Who’s there!?”
“It’s me.”
“Gordon! You pinched my bottom!”
“Ah, yes. Sweet dreams are made of this...”
“Oooooo,” she huffed, “Help me with this box.”
“Just a second.” He switched on a lamp from his belt kit. “How’s that?”
“Oh! I forgot I had a light with me.” She found hers and switched it on.
“You’re too used to having to build all your equipment. We try to keep a few tricks up our sleeves.”
“Wait a minute! Why didn’t you use that light when you were looking for me?”
“Becauuuuse, then I wouldn’t have an alibi for pinching your tushie.”
"Masher,” she said, unable to suppress a smile. She turned and looked over the box she’d opened. “Well, it’s medium cheddar. My nose is still that good. But this is block cheese. We have to get the sliced.”
“Why is it that only the sliced cheese is contaminated?”
“I don’t care,” she answered, exasperated. “Maybe one of the plant workers is a carrier. Maybe the slicer is contaminated. Oh, no. -- That means I have to go back into a cheese slicer.” She visibly wilted at the thought.
“Maybe not. We’ll take samples of the cheese, the wrappers, the labels, everything. In the meantime, what are you planning to do about this truck?”
“Help me tear the packages open. We’ll make it look like mice got to it on the way to the warehouse. Maybe they’ll reject the whole load.”
“Pretty good idea. Here.” He tossed her a small folding knife. “That’ll make the job faster.”
G.G.’s voice came over the headsets. “Roy? Dale? Are you two all right in there?”
“We’re fine, Annie,” Gordon responded. “We’ll just be a few minutes. Where’s Hoppy?”
“I’m airborne and closing fast,” Gary answered . “Try to keep a lasso on Dale this time, okay?”
“Guys?” Gadget chimed in. “Can we not use Dale? I’m gonna lose track of who I’m working with!”
“How about Calamity Jane?” Gary said sourly.
“What-ever!” Gadget answered. “Lil’ Sure Shot, go back to the plant and keep an eye out. There was another truck at the loading dock. Maybe we can catch it before it leaves. Hopalong, stand by to pick us up.”
“I’m on it, Jane,” G.G. said. They heard the buzz of her gyrocopter alarmingly close, then it faded rapidly.
Gadget kneeled on the box and cut through the cardboard. She reached through and chopped open the packages inside and began to throw out handfuls of cheese, planning to make a mess no one could miss. She bagged some of the cheese and packaging for testing before leaping across to the next box and repeating the performance. Gordon worked at a similar pace, cutting, shredding and tossing.
Gadget paused and shined her light around the truck at the dairy disaster they’d constructed. They’re going to think mice have terrible table manners, she thought.
“Gordon! That should do it. Let’s get outta here.”
“Whatever you do, don’t lick your fingers.”
Gadget froze, her hand almost to her mouth. And I was worried about Monty!
They climbed out of trailer and onto the roof. Gary positioned the Vertijet just ahead of and above the truck. The rescue cable began to pay out from the open cargo doors in the rear of the craft. Following the coast road, the truck was easy to stay with.
“I’m going to have to dip down,” Gary said, “and get you one at a time. There’s tree branches, power lines and who-knows-what over the road. When the line comes down, hook up fast and I’ll go high to winch you in.”
“Got you, Athos,” Gordon said. “Aramis first.”
“Now, those are names I could stay with,” Gadget said brightly.
“Here we go!” Gary called.
The Vertijet dropped rapidly. The lifeline slapped against the roof of the truck just in front of them. Gadget grabbed the line and hooked it to her climbing harness while Gordon braced her against the breeze. Gadget flashed thumbs-up and Gordon barked, “Pull up!”
The jet engines roared and Gadget was shot into the air like an inverted bungee jumper. She spread her arms and legs wide to prevent herself from spinning on the lifeline. She felt a sharp tug as the winch engaged and watched the jet grow closer in the night sky. The winch rapidly pulled her into the sheltered spot between the cargo doors. A hydraulic arm caught the cable and swung her neatly over the cargo deck to a one-step landing. Gadget had to admire the engineering which made it possible for the Scruffies to make a rescue with only one of them on the aircraft.
“I’m clear, Gary,” she called as she unhooked her harness.
“Stay there and spot for me. It’ll make it easier.”
Gary picked the next clear stretch of road and swooped down again. With Gadget coaching, he almost dropped the line into Gordon’s hands. A swift pull-up and the whine of the winch brought Gordon onto the cargo deck. His feet hardly touched the metal when G.G. came on the circuit.
“I hate to tell you this, but the other truck is pulling out, and he’s heading for the main highway. Better put it in overdrive if you want to stop him.”
Gadget winced, and Gordon gently waggled his finger at her.
“You started this,” he reminded her.
Gary banked the jet sharply to find G.G. as Gordon and Gadget came forward to the cockpit. Shortly, they saw G.G.’s autogyro close behind a freight truck just pulling onto a four-lane highway.
“Dang it,” Gary said. “That’s it. We’ll let it go and get the word out to Portland.”
“NO!” Gadget cried. “We’ve got to try! How many little kids are going to die because their parents didn’t get the news?”
“Gadget,” Gary said sternly, “I told you this morning about feeling responsible for the whole world.”
"This isn't the whole world. This is the little part we can reach."
Gary bit back whatever he was going to say next, ashamed he even had an argument for her.
“All right. But this is going to be tougher. He’s picking up speed.”
“The speed limit’s sixty-five,” Gadget said. “We can catch him easily.”
“This bird’s stall speed is sixty,” Gary pointed out. “I’m going to be bouncing between stalling and a real fast hover. Go down on the cable together, and remember: at that speed, if you fall off, you’re instant roadkill. Don’t take any chances.” He opened the communications circuit. “G.G., we’re going to make a try for the truck. Stay close and back up Gordo and Gadget.”
“Right with ya, Skyhook.”
Gadget and Gordon hurried back to the open cargo doors. Gordon pulled Gadget close to his chest and hooked their harnesses together in two places, then attached the hook end of the cable. He tucked Gadget close and wrapped his arms around her. She could only do the same.
“Comfy?” he asked.
She smiled coyly. “It’s not bad.”
“Stand by,” Gary said. “Step out.”
They swung out into the open air on the cable as Gary began to lower them toward the truck. Their speed made them sail and made it easier to stabilize. Gordon got the cable release in his hand.
“Get ready to drop,” he warned.
The roof of the truck came ever closer, then they were abruptly sent soaring high above it as Gary made a sharp climb. Gadget watched, stunned, as a series of power lines whizzed beneath them. If they had caught on them...
“We’ll try again,” Gary called, knowing anything else would just provoke another losing argument. “G.G., call the height.” Gary watched the road ahead intently, then dropped down fast.
“Thirty..” G.G. intoned. “Twenty-five... Twenty... Fifteen, too fast! Better... Down... Eight... Four...”
As the roof came towards them, Gordon snapped the release on the cable. He and Gadget hit and skittered along the roof to a stop. Gary, feeling the weight leave the cable, pulled up high again.
Gordon rolled Gadget on top of him and released the carabiners. He pushed her on ahead, acting as an anchor for her against the wind. She made for the refrigerator unit and found a serviceable opening there as she’d hoped.
“Come on,” she called, switching on her light. “Let’s make a little truck au gratin.”
Gordon started work on the low boxes while Gadget began on the high ones. She had just finished a satisfying shread job and was climbing to another box when she suddenly found herself airborne and weightless. In a slow-motion state she saw the box she had been standing on go drifting by. We hit a bump, she thought. I’m not going to land daintily.
As the floor came up, she caught sight of Gordon from the corner of her eye, rushing in like a center fielder after a pop fly. He caught her almost exactly like the last time, but with less severe impact.
“How do you manage to catch me every time?” she wondered aloud.
“You don’t know it, but you’re actually a klutz,” he answered, with a disarming grin. “I can see it coming.”
“Are you two okay?” came Gary’s worried voice.
“We’re fine, Doctor Zarkov,” Gadget responded. “Flash just saved me again.”
“AHA! I told you she’d call me Flash!” Gordon shouted. “I win!”
“Doggone it, Dale Arden,” Gary complained. “You just cost me dinner.”
“Could we please not use Dale!” Gadget insisted. “I keep looking around for a chipmunk!”
“Different Dale,” Gary said.
“Can it, Gary,” G.G. barked, “You’re just going to confuse the whole operation.”
“That’s rich,” Gary snarled. “I’m supposed to take tactical advice from Ming the Merciless!”
“That does it!” G.G. snapped. “You! Me! One hour! Neutron bombs or anything smaller!”
“What is wrong with you two!!” Gadget shouted. “We are trying to save lives here!”
At that, they fell silent while Gadget and Gordon continued with the task. They quickly piled up a generous midden of cheesey debris and made their way out of the trailer.
“Ready for pick-up,” Gordon reported.
“Stay between the cab and the trailer,” Gary warned. “Someone hasn’t trimmed the tree limbs around here. They’re scraping the roof of the truck and they’ll clean you off in nothing flat. We’re going to have to cut it close.”
“Gadget, you’re first,” Gordon said as he hoisted into position near the roof line. “When the cable comes down, grab it and hook on fast, then yell ‘pull up.’ Gary will do the rest.”
He steadied her on the edge of the trailer, watching the cable swing ever lower. As it arced past, Gadget leaned out and snagged it. In a quick movement, she clipped it to her harness and called, “Pull up!” She shot into the air like the first time, but the view was chilling. The truck was speeding toward the forest and the highway was almost completely obscured by overhanging tree limbs. Once she was back on board, she disconnected from the cable and called to Gary.
“We’ve got to go back down. We’ve got to get Gordon before he goes under the trees.”
“He’s already into the trees,” Gary advised. “But there’s a clear stretch ahead. We’ll try there.”
The Vertijet zipped ahead, made a tight circle and dropped down. Gadget stayed by the cargo doors to help Gordon, just in case. She heard the winch begin to run out the cable and G.G. began to call the distance to the truck.
“Forty... Thirty... Twenty... FifteenPULL UP, PULL UP!!”
Too late. An unseen branch caught the cable and it wrapped around the limb in an instant. Above Gadget’s head came a sharp BLAM like a small explosion. She ducked away instinctively and was surprised to find she wasn’t hurt.
“Gadget!” Gary called. “Are you all right!”
“I’m okay, but the plane isn’t.”
“Did it break the cable?”
“It tore out the whole winch. It’s gone, Gary.”
She didn’t wait for anyone to ask “what now?” She ran forward and yanked out a “T” handle in the bulkhead, causing a bright yellow bundle to drop from the overhead. She pulled a knob on the bundle and it began to unfold.
I hope it’s as good as the one I built, she thought. In seconds, a perfect miniature copy of a pilot’s life raft for a 60’s action figure inflated as tight as a drum. With an approving nod, she dragged the raft to the cargo door and laced a cargo strap through loops on the bottom, then grabbed a long nylon line and tied it off to the aircraft and to the raft. Gary finally took a moment to look around.
“Gadget! What in Ned do you think you’re doing!”
“I’m going to parasail down and get Gordon. If they can do this on Tale Spin, I can do it.”
“Gadget! Tale Spin is a cartoon!”
She looked at him in amazement. “You haven’t been paying attention at all, have you?”
With that, she slid her feet into the cargo strap stirrups and pushed off. The contraption plunged for a ways, then the rope pulled taut, nearly dragging her out of the raft. But it got the wind under it and flew like an upside-down kite. Barely, but it flew.
“Keep the airspeed up,” she called. “Dive and make a pass.”
Gary did as ordered. Gordon saw the ridiculous exception to sensible aerodynamics coming and wasn’t about to pass up a yarn for the grandkiddies. He swung onto the trailer roof and got ready to grab on as she went by.
Gadget actually touched down on the trailer for an instant, just enough for Gordon to leap in behind her and grab on, one hand on the tow line, one arm around her waist. She pulled up sharply and at the same moment they saw the tree branch, thin, dark and crooked as a witch’s finger, reach out to snag the tow line. Gadget hauled up even harder, hoping against hope for enough altitude to clear the branch. In an eyeblink, Gordon slashed the tow line with a fighting knife. The speed and destructiveness of the move slipped into Gadget’s subconscious, to arise in strange dreams weeks later. She kept the raft climbing on momentum, even knowing that when the airspeed ran out it meant a longer fall.
“Gordon! Hands up!!” G.G. screamed. She had the autogyro right over them and practically shoved its tubular landing gear struts into his hands. He grabbed on and wrapped his legs around Gadget tight enough to squeeze the breath out of her. Gadget kicked loose from the raft and watched it fall into the darkness.
“I can’t hold altitude with all three of us,” G.G. said. “We’re going to land hard. Drop off when we’re close to the ground.”
G.G. cut the engine and let the gyro coast down. She actually chuckled and shouted, “Let’s get ready to tummmmblllle!”
As the ground came up, Gordon released Gadget. She somersaulted into the tall grass safely. Gordon dropped off a moment later, misjudged the landing and sprawled face first. G.G. tried to kill the gyro’s downward momentum by pulling back on the rotor, but she ran out of altitude. She landed hard, bounced and hit sideways, the landing gear digging in to the soft ground and the rotor hitting and breaking away as she stopped.
Gadget hurried toward her companions as G.G. climbed out of the wreck with a war whoop and walked away unscathed from one more crash landing. Gadget found Gordon sitting up and rubbing his chest. “You landed pretty hard. Did you break anything?”
“No. But I’m going to be one big bruise this week,” he complained.
G.G. jogged up out of the gloom. “A landing we all walked away from. Pretty good, eh?” She noticed Gadget feebly fanning herself with her hand. “Hey, you don’t look right.” G.G. put a finger on Gadget’s neck and found her pulse racing, her skin and fur damp and clammy. “Crud! You’re going into heat exhaustion!” G.G. yanked the release on Gadget’s harness, snapped out a small hawkbill knife and split the coverall from collar to crotch. Before Gadget could even gasp, G.G. pulled the suit down to her ankles.
“What are you doing?” Gadget shrieked. “I’ve sweated through my underwear! It’s practically sheer!” Gadget tried to cover herself in four places with two hands and moved fast enough to nearly succeed.
“You’re shocky, Gadget. Sit down or you’re going to collapse.”
“Of course I’m shocky! I just fell outta the sky on a rubber raft! And my normal heart rate is twenty percent higher than yours! Well, it’s about two hundred percent now.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot.”
“I would like it noted for the record,” Gordon said in a pompous tone, “that I am not going to view any evidence presented in such a manner.” He had his back to them and his arms firmly folded across his battered chest.
“Thank you,” Gadget said earnestly. “Did you bring any extra clothes in the Vertijet?”
“Yeah. I put our flight suits aboard. Come on, G.G. We’ll wave Gary in.”
“Okay. Just let me get outta this sweatsuit.” She began to peel the blue coverall off.
“G.G.!” Gadget protested. “Don’t do that! You don’t have to expose yourself in the name of feminine solidarity!”
“I’m taking it off because I’m cooking in it. Besides, I’m a lot more shockproof than you.” She pulled the Nitrile down to her waist and tied it off, then followed Gordon toward a nearby clearing.
Gadget walked over to G.G.’s crashed autogyro as the Vertijet landed. She had wrestled it upright and was checking the engine for damage when G.G. strolled up with Gadget’s flight suit in hand.
“G.G., your gyro isn’t banged up too bad. I can fix this... Ummm, you didn’t change your clothes with those two guys watching, did you?”
“I didn’t make a performance of it, but sure. Why not?”
Gadget accepted her flight suit and turned her back as she pulled it on. “Nothing embarrasses you, does it?”
“Yes. Taking Gary and Gordon to the beach. I may never show my face in Seaside again. But you don’t have to be so modest around them.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You’re not afraid they’d make a grab for you or something? They wouldn’t, ever.”
“I know that! It’s not... them.”
“Oh. You’re shy.”
Gadget began to protest, then just nodded. “You think I’m just being silly.”
“Actually I think it’s sweet. Sometimes I wish I could still manage a little shyness. I lost mine a long time ago.”
Gadget almost asked what she meant, then decided she might not want the answer to that question.
“I was about to say, I can fix your autogyro. We can get it into the Vertijet in parts...”
G.G. stopped her with a raised hand. “My support team will pick up the wreck. That’s why they’re there. We have much more important things to do.”
“That’s right. We still don’t know what’s poisoning the cheese.”
* * *