And a Eisner New Year
{Scene: Evil Eisner's laboratorium. Eisner's Brain, the Nameless Lab Assisant and Marshall Mickey are gathered behind a computer console. There is a black trophy on a table right of the console.}
Eisner: This has gone to far now! Not only do kids laugh at the mention of my name, they also have to guts to send me mocking awards, claiming that I'm to stupid to recognise genius even when it bit me!
[Cut to the trophy, which reads "The Eisner Hearthless Villian Award" with a shredded letter next to it.
Eisner: If only I knew who send it, that would certainly ease my conscience.
Mickey: Sir, you don't have a conscience.
Eisner: Don't interupt me with details, I'm thinking up a plan so evil, so cruel that it's almost a treath before it's carried out!
Lab Assistant: Buying the complete stock of the Teletubbies?
Eisner: Uh, yes, that cruel. I could broadcast them on our network from day to night! I'd force the ones behind this gag to show their faces before I reduce the entire Disney Channel watching population to goo!
Mickey: What if they don't live in the US and don't have acces to the Disney Channel?
Eisner: You're ranting again Mickey. Of course an American thought this up! What could possibly live on the other side of the world? Only savages off course! There is no one outside the US who's a threat to me!
Mystery Person: I'd not count on that to soon Brainless Baffoon!
Eisner and CO: *GASP*! It's Ultra Mountie!
[Cut to Lab entrance, where a Canadian Mountie stand tall and proud before beating the living daylight out of Eisner and his goons. After he leaves, Eisner recovers.]
Eisner: Allright, that's it! We're going for world domination now, not just the old "conquer America" gig.
Lab Assistant: I feel this would be an exelent opportunity for my new Ice Cannon.
Mickey: What's it for?
Lab Assistant: It shoots freeze rays at a target. If we use orbital satalites I can send these freezer rays to any place on earth, making it to cold to light New Year firework, which will crush the hopes of every induvidual on this planet and cause mayhem among some cultural and religious groups! Then, I step out and demand total rulership of the earth or there will never be a happy New Year again! The world, desperate to safe New Year will agree to my too high demands and I will RULE THE WORLD! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Eisner: Silence! Maniacal laughter is my department! Mhuhahahaha!!!
Mickey: What do you mean exactly with "I will rule the world!"?
Eisner: Cut doubting the loyalty of my underpaid mad scientist and get all satalites ready to fire! New Year is doomed this Year!
Mystery Person: Not so fast, Eisner!
Eisner: You? I thought I disposed of you by banning your show into the limbo!
[There is a nuclear explosion close to Eisner. When the smoke clears, the infamous Grim Reaper appears, speaking in a caribian accent, as usual.]
Grim: (interupting) They're not in limbo, I haven't been send to recieve their souls yet.
Eisner: *GASP*! But that means...
[Cut to the lab entrance to reveal Chip and Dale.]
Eisner: ...You still exist!
Chip: Thanks to our fan community.
Dale: Geez and I though you figured that out after Gadget twarted your Salesmen Havoc.
Mystery Person: No worry Chip, here I am!
[A crash is heard as Mercy "Mischief" jump in through the skylight.]
Eisner: *groan* Now I have to pay the window company again!
Grim: I think I'll not meddle in this issue.
[With a nuclear mushroom cloud the Reaper teleports to the sidelines to watch the spectacle from a safe distance.]
Eisner: Guards!
[From out of nowhere a group of miserable soldiers appears to surround Eisner.]
Eisner: Defensive formation "Tank Rush", forward march!
[The soldiers circle Eisner and his two trusted companions as they all advance on the three do-gooders. Chip and Dale just smile as they pull out a set of "Tailspin" goodies like bumper stickers, notepads and fake tattoes.]
Eisner: Routing formation "Scared Dog", halt!
[All the soldiers put on the brakes, the last one acknowledges to late and bumps into the rest, causing a domino effect. The front guard uses all the mass in his body to prevent the regiment from getting any closer.
Eisner: That's mean, I hate good cartoons.
[Mercy quickly sneaks into a teleporter and is transported to the large computer of Evil Eisner. She curiously studies the control panel.]
Mercy: I wonder what this button does...
Lab Assistant: Don't touch that! It's the freezing ray's control pannel-Oops!!
[While the Lab Assistant cover her mouth Mercy presses the large red button and a giant cannon pops up, Chip and Dale quickly dive out of it's line of fire.]
Lab Assistant: Don't do it! We'd be dead! Hypothermia will claim all three of and we'll die an excrutiating death!
Mickey: What about the soldiers?
Lab Assistant: They're expandable.
[A few soldiers gulp upon hearing that comment. Mercy holds her finger menacingly over the button.]
Lab Assistant: Don't do it, you'll only kill yourself!
Mercy: I bet $50 you're bluffing.
[Lab Assistant grabs the dome shaped tank wherein Eisner's brain resides and shakes it.]
Lab Assistant: SAY SOMETHING BOSS, SHE'S ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAY SOMETHING!!!
Eisner: (recovering) Uhm, sure. Hey Grim, you're gonna give us a hand here?
[Cut to the Grim Reaper who's relaxing on a beach recliner with a coconut with a straw in his hands.]
Grim: Sure, I'll use my scythe to free you from that giant ice cube the beam will create so I can take your pitifull souls to the underworld.
Mickey: Aren't you going to save us? You're a creation from the same place we're going, we're allies!
[The Reaper gets of his recliner and looks displeased.]
Grim: Listen, do you honestly think I'm from Hades? I'm just doing my job okay? It has nothing to do with my allegiance; I'm neatral, clean, fresh. I don't worship the devil or something! And why am I wasting my time with you dopes anyway? Death has a long que to work out, and you three are holding me up with your silly games. You know what? You can foget your help, let your souls roam the earth for all eternity, I'm not wasting another moment with you sad suckers, Hasta La Vista!
[With another mushroom cloud explosion the Reaper disapears again.]
Mercy: Well, I hope you had your last request done now. Anyway, I'm going to press the button.
[Mercy does so and the entire batalion is encased in ice. Everyone else is still safe.]
Mercy: So she was bluffing when she said I'd be death. I guess she owes me fifty.
Chip: You're to late now, she's a goner.
Mercy: Ironic, really. It's just what people usually say at funerals, "He still owed me money". Let's get out of here, it's getting a tad chilly.
[The three leave the lab and the rooms becomes dark. Three spirits appear above the giant ice cube.
Lab Assistant: Okay, I guess my bluff was called.
Eisner: Idiot, imbicile, nitwit!
Mickey: *Ahum* May I remind you we're not going to the afterlife? We can still plot revenge and that sort of things.
Eisner: Yes! We can continue our existance until we find a way to reincanate ourselves! Until then, we shall haunt those three in their dreams! They won't have a moment of rest! In the end, Micheal Eisner shall still BE VICTORIUS!!!
Soldier spirit: *Ahum*!
Eisner: Oh, you guys? You're not mad at us anymore because we treated you like cannon fodder right? All nice and swell right?
[The soldiers smily nastily, indicating they are indeed mad at Eisner.]
Lad Assistant: *GULP* This won't end well...
[Fade to black as the noises of a fight start up. Mercy, Dale and Chip appear.]
Mercy: You know, there is a moral to this story.
Chip: And that is?
Mercy: Eat your greens, before they eat you.
Dale: I don't get it.
Mercy: That's not nececary, I just like the sound of it.
[Chip starts to look a bit worried.]
----------
Disclaimer:
I hope this entertained someone, seeing as I put it together in only a little amount of time.
Eisner is property of himself, along with much more.
Mickey is copyrighted by the big D, so he's from Eisner as well.
Chip and Dale are sadly also copyrighted by Eisner's studio company. Wish he'd do more with them...
The Grim Reaper is property of the supernatural powers that control this world.
That or he's some nut with a major case
of annorexia.
Mercy is mine, not meaning I love her.
Eisner's soldiers and the Lab Assistant are Eisner's henchmen, but my creations.