TRIPPING THROUGH THE RANGERVERSE

By 8-Bit Star

This is a completely restored version of my original, first-ever work
of fanfiction. Admittedly, this particular story isn't all that great,
and I actually added it primarily for completeness and in case anyone's
interested in my first actual attempt to write something (You know this
is gonna be valuable when I start producing my own shows and games and
become a big name :).

Below this line is the complete text of the original fanfic. None of
the text has been edited in any way, except for formatting purposes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tripping Through the Rangerverse

- by 8-Bit Star

I actually have already posted this, in a sloppy,
unfinished form, not more than a weekend ago. In
fact, I posted it twice. The second time was on a
Sunday, and no one (Fortunately) had read the "Improved"
version since everyone is always busy on weekends.
I deleted the "Improved" version from the story board
after realising that a certain event in the second
episode (Which actually was pretty silly anyway)
totally contradicted a development I planned to
make later (Yet another of Dumb Frog's weaknesses...
one person told me he's almost too weak already), I
took the thing down, intending to re-post it when
the error had been fixed.

Oh yea, I'm not sure wether this thing should be
considered G or PG. Content-wise, I think it's
appropriate for kids, but I don't think they'd
be able to figure out half the stuff I write
about unless I shove it down their throats.

THE DISCLAIMER THINGY:
If you wanna distribute this thing, Just make sure you
acknowledge who wrote this, and that you don't alter it
in any way that screws up the story, okay? And please,
post this re-written version, not the original (Unless
you like preserve fanfiction or something).

Also, if you think its so bad you decide to MiST it,
SEND ME A COPY, alright?

Oh yea, and any character not created by me is, ummm,
copyrighted Walt Disney or something, used without
permission.

------

EPISODE 1 - ENTER THE WILD WORLD

Plot synopsis: Basic pilot episode.

[Begin tape]

Testing, one two.

Sorry, had to make sure this recorder worked.

Well, today's my first day in yet another brave new
universe, and already I've made some friends, a group of two
mice, two chipmunks, and a fly. Call themselves the Rescue
Rangers. Apparently they're some sort of anti-crime agency
or something of that sort.
Oh, me? I'm just Dumb Frog, yes that really is my
name.
I'm about sixteen, dressed in black (matching my hair)
and am generally lost. And I don't mean simply not knowing
where I am either. Let me explain myself.
Entering a cartoon universe is kinda like being born
in that for a few minutes you know diddly squat, and you have
a temporary case of amnesia or something. After about five
minutes, you just suddenly remember many things.
But "Many things" is not "Everything." I can not
remember how I set about going from universe to universe, or
even if I've visited other universes prior to this (though
some sort of, well, spiritual memory of the body, or whatever,
tells me I have).
This was the case when I first arrived here. I was in
some sort of park or something and was, well, lost. Of course,
I was also microscopic (The same size as a mouse, in fact).
Well, I walked in a circle like a dumb, amnesia-stricken
microscopic human for the requisite five minutes, after which
I became merely an absent-minded microscopic human and looked
at my supplies, which were in a backpack I had left (Or dropped)
on the ground, except for the sword (A very well-polished and
shiny, two-sided longsword that, oddly, had no decorations of
any kind).
First thing I found was this player/recorder and all
these tapes, all but one were blank (And the one that wasn't
contained a bunch of theme songs).
Next I found a laptop. You know, a portable PC. Booting
it up, I found it mostly contained games (Most of which were on
emulators, programs that allow you to run non-PC games on a PC)
though it had some text documents and some backups of the songs
on the music tape (plus some extras, making me wonder what the
point was). Apparently I had expected some dull moments, because
all except for one gigabyte of the forty gig hard drive was full.
On the upside though, it was a Windows 95 machine, not a 98, and
seemed like it was a fast little sucker.
Then I found a portable keyboard, which had slightly bigger
than one of my fists but could be played one-handed. It made a very
good emulation of actual piano-like sounds.
All three of these had some black surfaces that I recognized
as solar regeneration surfaces. Apparently I didn't want the
batteries to run out.
Last I found a box full of books. It specifically contained
The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings (Apparently I must be a Tolkien fan),
the Dragonlance Chronicles trilogy, the first five Dray Prescot
novels, all fourteen of Ian Fleming's James Bond books, and the
paperback of 2001: A Space Oddysey.
So I equipped the sword, got my luggage together, and
ventured forth.
After awhile, I discovered that, wherever the heck I
was, I was in some sort of mouse community. I felt around on
myself, and realised how out-of-place I looked, so I quickly
dove into some bushes and, using all the concentration I could
muster, made myself a mouse (Or at least gave myself big ears
and fur). Simple feat of concentration that any random lazy
slob does daily in their sleep, except I wait until I wake up
and make it last.
I then continued my journey, wandering around in this
big hunk of green in the middle of a big hunk of red brick known
as an overcrowded city.
Here's where I met the Rescue Rangers.
See, I was just trippin' along (Quite literally--I have
a muscle in my left leg that pulls often and not only gives me
a moment of intense pain centered in the area, but also makes me
lose my balance) when I walked up to this tree. Now, this tree
was different than all the other trees I had seen, as it had a
door, and a funny looking logo with the letters "RR" on it.
That logo started making my mind race, I had seen it
before, more than likely in some cartoon or something.
Instantly, all sorts of words came to my mind that "RR"
could concievably stand for, first being "Rescue Rangers" (Or
"Red Range" or "Roadkill Rodney" or "Rest and Relaxation" or
"River Ridge"...)
Then I fell flat on my face, again. Smick I hate my left
leg, wish I could lop it off sometimes. This time I didn't have
time to fantasize, because something konked me right on the
forehead (That's the next-to-uppermost part of that wierd thing
that grows on everyone's neck).
When I awoke, I was in some sort of bedroom in what seemed
like the inside of a tree. The first thing out of my mouth was
"Where in seven heavens am I?"
Almost at the same time, a chipmunk and mouse came in
the room. The mouse (I later learned her name was Gadget) said
"Oh, he's awake." They walked towards the bed and instantly I
sat up.
The 'munk (named Chip) said "We were worried for a minute
there. We found you outside, out cold. Are you okay?"
I hesitated and rubbed my forehead for a bit, and discovered
a bandage around it, and said "I was probably just unconscious for
awhile, as soon as I find the random rock that I fell on, I'll be
fine."
"Well, actually," said Gadget, "It was a tree root. But
what matters is that we found you."
"Well, thanks." I lay back down.
"So, what were you doing outside our home? Are you lost? Do
you live around here?"
"No. To tell you the truth, I don't think I have a home.
I've been waltzing all around the world as long as I can remember
and have never really thought about holing up in one place. Well,
okay, so there was this nice patch of forest down in Arkansas..."
I kinda jabbered, but whatever I said was better than making
them think I was crazy by telling them I came from another world
where they were characters on a cartoon show. Rule of thumb: Unless
they make it clear that they know, they don't know.
"Not to be intrusive," Gadget said, "but what exactly can
you remember? I mean, the blow to your head didn't deprive you
of any memories, did it?"
"I can quite clearly remember that my name is Dumb Frog.
Trust me, no one else believed it the first time either."
"Anything else besides that?"
"Well..."

[Cut from tape]

"Well," Dumb Frog answered, "I remember a tornado, I think
it was early on in my life. It may just be me, but it all seems
black and white. Anyway, I was in some sort of country home, and
that tornado lifted it right up the ground. I must have been one
weak babe at the time, because a wireframe window that would be
hard pressed to hurt a chicken had knocked me out cold. When I
woke, everything was in color, and there were all these little
people, and I wondered exactly what I had eaten before I had gotten
hit on the head, because there were all these wierd things like
people dressed as lions and talking scarecrows who, I'll agree,
are totally brainless but more lovable than most people, and we
always sang these catchy songs..."
Gadget stopped me and said, "Maybe you should go back to sleep,
we'll talk more later, okay?"
Dumb Frog instantly said "All right" and stopped talking.
Chip and Gadget walked out of the room. When they got out of
the room and closed the door, Chip commented "Great, another Dale,
just what we need."
"No, in Dale's case, he just doesn't have a grasp of reality.
This boy suffered a serious smack on the head, so he's quite
obviously going to get fantasy mixed up with reality."
"I guess you're right."
Not to be ominous or anything, but not to far into the future,
their ideas of reality will be shattered forever.

[Back to tape]

When they left, I found I could not get back to sleep, so
I found that blinkin' laptop and played games on it instead. It
wasn't like I was bored silly, no, it was that I can not get the
Bubble Bobble theme out of my head!
Well, after awhile I got bored of one game, and another,
and finally stopped after playing the game that never ends (The
arcade version of Rygar, that is) and finally just put the darned
thing up and started thinking. I knew where I was, but, where in
the show's chronology was I? And what the heck was the chronology
anyway? You can't assume that events happen in the order they play
unless the show has a continuing plot thread, and even then some
things may happen that we never see on television.
I had a lot to consider, but then I decided to stop thinking
and talk to someone. Of course, I couldn't think of anything intelligent
to say to the Rescue Rangers, so I decided to sit here and talk to
you instead. I bet you're feeling left out, aren't you Mr. Recorder?

[Cut from tape]

Dumb Frog shut off the recorder and put the darned thing down,
and decided to go get out of bed and, you know, see if anything was
happening and decided to chat with everyone.
He exited the room, closing the door behind him, and the first
thing that happened was that Gadget, who happened to be walking by,
asked "What are you doing out of bed?"
"Wandering in any random direction."
Which is exactly what he was doing up until he hit that wall.
"You really shouldn't be out of bed, you're obviously
disoriented."
"Nah, just half-blind. Perfect vision, blurry vision, no
vision, all three happen to me."
Gadget helped him to his feet, and said "How did you survive
in the world, with that kind of handicap?"
"Through trusting my other senses, and dumb luck mostly."
"Well, in any case, dinner is almost ready. Come on, we'll
prepare an extra seat." Gadget helped him limp--yes, limp--to the
dinner table.
Sparing a seat for Frog wasn't a problem, however everyone,
save Frog, was tense.
It was Gadget's turn to cook.
"Is it me or is everyone tense?" asked Frog.
"Well," Chip whispered, "You didn't hear it from me, but
every time Gadget cooks, it tastes like Motor Oil."
"Oh, sounds yummy." They knew quite well he was being
sarcastic (He hoped).
Gadget and Monterey came out with the bowls of what looked
like some sort of salads (to him anyway... being from an alternate
reality, it was hard to make out what this hastily drawn cartoon
food was). They had only brought out four bowls (For Frog, Chip,
Dale, and Zipper). Monty sat down, Gadget stood and waited,
unobtrusively, to see everyone's reaction to her cooking.
Frog twirled a little bit of the salad stuff up with his
fork, ate it, expecting the worst, and said "Funny, this doesn't--"
Chip quickly butted in and said "Yes, but that was because
you read it such a long time ago, so of course it won't be familiar.
But really, the plan was that the snake would climb down the pole
and bite the girl, leaving the fortune to the uncle."
"What are we talking about again?" Frog was obviously
confused.
"Why, Sherlock Holmes, of course."
"Ahh, I thought the conversation was about Motor Oil."
Fortunately Gadget had left the room by the time he said that.
After listening (To make sure Gadget wasn't on her way
back), Frog whispered "It still doesn't taste like any Motor Oil
I ever tasted."
"Then you're one of the lucky ones."
"Well, heck, I've lived on grass most of my years. By now
everything is a welcome change."
Frog was done before anyone, because no one except him and
Gadget could really bear the taste of the salad stuff.
All the while (After digesting their food, of course) they
got into small talk. They learned more about Frog (Who continued
concealing the part about being from an alternate universe and instead
gave them a totally fictacious story where he had been an adventurer
his whole life) and Frog, in turn, learned more about them, their
business, their cases, and, you know, stuff.
Well into the conversation, they just started talking about
all sorts of things, and Frog even mentioned a movie he saw once.
"...So anyway, that HAL computer blew a fuse or two, and
Dave Bowman was deactivating it. He then learned from one of HAL's
screw-ups which accidentally played a classified video that they
had actually been sent on the mission because the government thought
there was a chance of meeting actual extraterrestrials. "After that,
the movie decided 'Ah heck, who says my plot has to make sense?' and
all sorts of wierd stuff happened."
"This movie is already starting to sound wierd to me, how
could it get any worse?" That was Gadget, but all of them were wondering
the same thing. This statement reminded Frog of where he was, and
of the fact that in this world, Movies were simplified parodies of
popular stuff from his home universe.
"Well, old men started appearing on the ship, and there was
this sequence where all these colors started flashing by, which were
supposed to mean something but made absolutely no sense--I hear the
subsequent novelization and it's sequels make sense out of this
stuff--and then Dave Bowman appears outside the ship, having turned
into some sort of alien baby, and I say 'the deep, dark moral of the
story is that the director is obviously a whacko and this is his
imagination'."
They got a brief laugh out of that.
"Well, that was it for the Space Oddysey. Can't think of
many other movies I liked that I think anyone else would think is
in any way interesting though."
"Haven't ya seen any movies about werewolves or swamp
creatures or evil aliens or stuff like that?" asked Dale. "That
one you just mentioned I haven't even seen, and it's already
confusin' me!"
"I usually avoid typical 'aliens invade earth' type movies.
It's just blatantly paranoid to think that any visiting life forms
are going to be openly hostile."
Well, stuff like that kept them wrapped up in conversation
until they started dozing off, one by one. A few managed to wake
up and move to their beds (Or, in Dumb Frog's case, limp there).

[Begin tape]

Wow, this morning was exciting.
The first sign of trouble was a huge metal pole emerging
from the ground, and immediately afterward there was a huge
earthquake.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to make the connection.
By the time I awoke, they were already down at the part where
the pole goes into the ground. I had no idea what they expected to
find, but then I couldn't think of anything better to be doing.
"Any sparkling revelations?" I asked when I had finally made
it to the bottom of the tree (And almost stumbled due to my left leg).
"Well," Gadget said, "This pole is definately the base point
from which the earthquakes originate, or at least is an extension
from the base. We'd have to dig deep into the ground to be sure,
unless there's a tunnel or something we can follow."
"Well," I suggested, "How about we just uproot the thing?
Yea, pull the pole, shake it dry, stomp it, say 'that'll teach ya
to be an epicenter for earthquakes!' cut it to little bitty pieces
and use it as fencing! Sounds fun, let's try it."
"And how do you propose doing this?" She was skeptical (Which
I found surprising at the time. That's a perfectly normal suggestion,
isn't it?)
"With my bare hands! Watch." I actually attempted to pull the
thing out, and wasn't being very successful. So, I said "By the power
of grey--"
Then my left leg muscle pulled, I fell over, and hit my head
right smack on the pole. I was dizzy for like five minutes.
"Golly, are you okay?"
"Ah, by Landrake's Dragon, That was the zaniest five minutes
of my life. First I was here, and the straw that makes up my right
leg was over there, and Shredder was limping away, and..."
"Gee, I hope you didn't hurt yourself," Chip said cynically.
"By who's what?" Gadget asked.
"Landrake: Old guy who owns a dragon," I responded, then added
"The green kind that breaths acid."
"Are you sure that smack on the head didn't leave any permanent
damage?" now Gadget was getting cynical.
"It depends on which smack you mean, but the base of the matter
remains," I said.
"And that is?" Chip asked.
"It's somewhere underground and we'll have to dig for it." I was
doing my best Don Adams impersonation, "I bet you're wondering how I plan
to pull off this ingenious scheme before the dastardly villain gets away!
Fear not, I'll eventually think of something."
"Give me a minute, I can rig something up."
She wasn't kidding.
What she had rigged up was what looked like a soda can with
its copper's topper having been popped, and with some sort of motorized
drill on the bottom. They were all inside and fixing to begin at a
location not more than a foot away from the pole.
"All set, guys," Gadget said, "This should work with no problems."
"Is that a garuntee?" Monterey asked.
"You sound like a hardened skeptic," I said.
He whispered "Not to offend Gadget-love, but every time she says
there shouldn't be any problems, there's problems."
Chip quickly said "It doesn't matter, Let's go!"
When I tried to get on, he turned and said "You stay here!"
"Why?"
"Because, this could be dangerous and you're not a Rescue Ranger."
"Even given that, I've been in plenty of worse spots. Besides,
I know who's behind this and would like to give her a piece of my mind."
Immediately what I just said hit me, and I wondered what in the
cosmic balance of everything that is was I talking about?
Chip was taken aback by this, and finally receded, though
reluctantly.
And I was in the Drill-Can, as I've nicknamed it.
"All systems are active," Gadget confirmed.
"So, Monty," I asked, "Is this stuff about problems anything like
what Chip said about Motor Oil?"
They all quickly shut me up, and I was like "What? What?"
totally forgetting Gadget's presence. I suppose I now know why they
call me "Dumb Frog."
"All systems go."
The thing really went, shaking up everyone who wasn't holding
something (Meaning Gadget, having the steering wheel, was totally
unaffected). This went on for about a minute, then we hit a clear,
open, underground area and, the Drill-Can hitting a pole and tipping
over, all fell out. Fortunately we landed in the same general area.
Gadget got up first, brushed herself off, and said "Sorry about
that, Frog."
"Sorry?" I asked, "About what?"
"I could have smoothed out the ride a bit, but I wanted to get
back at them for saying my cooking tasted like Motor Oil."
I was starting to like this, but a bunch of lights suddenly
coming on brought me back to reality.
I instantly said "Oh please, we've got more than enough sunlight!"
"Oh," said a distinctly female voice, "I forgot about your
environmental tendencies."
The lights went off again, and a small girl with brown hair
wearing a lab coat (and some typical clothing that didn't really stand
out) and carrying a mallet came into the sunlit area.
I recognised her immediately. She was an old fiend of mine,
and the girl I knew who I had told Chip about seconds earlier.
"Ahh, Pennywinkel, I shoulda known."
"Can the corny cartoon dialogue and, well... actually, I can't
think of anything I want you to do right now, silly me."
I began to approach, when she held her mallet up to one of the
poles and said "Halt or I'll bring the city down on us."
"Hah! You can't bring the city down on us! It's down on
itself! and besides, we're in the middle of central park, where
there are no buildings."
She struck a pole, the earth rumbled, and some dirt fell on us.
"There's still solid ground."
"Do you know this girl?" Chip asked.
"Unfortunately, yes." I said.
"Oh, be serious," Pennywinkel said, walking towards me, "What
could be so unfortunate about knowing a sweet little girl like me?"
I squeaked out "I dunno."
"Good." she pushed my nose, with just enough force to make me
fall over backwards (Not that that's a hard task).
Fortunately, the Rescue Rangers weren't idiots, and grabbed her
the minute they had the chance, then Chip and Dale began wrapping the
rope around her. The plan was to dismantle the poles and interrogate
Pennywinkel later.
I proceeded then to fall right back up, and on Chip's orders,
me and Monty set about dismantling the poles. He was thinking of
tearing them out with his bare hands, I was thinking of cutting them
to ribbons.
"I want to know," Gadget said, "Exactly how do all these
poles allow you to generate earthquakes?"
Pennywinkel just kinda stood there, not really trying to
struggle, and said "Look at their design. They are hooked together
and properly aligned with the earth in a way that allows them to
support and augment their own vibrations. The actual process would
take an entire textbook to explain and, besides, its totally beyond
your capabilities."
"But, why the earthquakes, Pennywinkel?" I asked.
"Oh, just think of it as a sort of prelude."
Monty asked "Exactly how do you know that girl?"
My plan was to cut the poles to itsy pieces, so I readied a
slice, and said "She was an old adventuring companion. Was fun for
awhile, but she had all sorts of wacky ideas and eventually went bad."
"Years in the middle of nowhere will do that to someone who was meant
to be a city girl."
Pennywinkel yelled out "For your information, I don't belong
to any lifestyle. And Frog, while you're talking about adventures,
why don't you tell them about our glorius battle with the pink polka-dot
dragon?"
They had got her almost completely tied by then, but that was
enough to make Chip and Dale both stop and say "What?"
Which was all the distraction she needed. Suddenly, using what
looked to the naked eye to be no more than simply tensing up muscles,
she was able to somehow both make the rope twist off of her and twist
right on to both Chip and Dale.
"Crikey! What is she doing?" Monterey had turned around when
the chipmunks had given a gasp of surprise.
She picked up her mallet--slowly, in a kinda "Just lettin ya
know I'm picking up my mallet" kinda way--walked up to Gadget, and
said "I'll explain it to you later." Then walked off.
After she left the sunlit area of the room, we never found her
again for the rest of the day (Oh, yea, we untied Chip and Dale, just
so ya know).

Fortunately the girl was nice enough to have left a mouse-size
blowtorch behind, with a note saying "You really are an idiot." with
a message saying "I mean that in a nice way" at the bottom. We used
the blowtorch to disconnect the poles and make them useless.
That's what she meant, actually. If I had tried to cut them,
we'd all be flat right now. I mentioned this when we got back to
Ranger HQ.
"Don't bother yourself about it, we've got more important things
to think about." Gadget said.
"Right!" Dale said, "Did you really battle a pink polka-dotted
dragon? Did it breath fire? Was there more to it than that?" Ah well
yadda yadda this this that that...
"Don't put pressure on me, I can't think under pressure."
I was squeaking convincingly enough, because he stopped pounding me
with silly questions. I really can't stand pressure, either (I
probably woulda bonked the guy had he not shut up).
"Frog, calm down, take your time, think." These reassuring
words from Gadget helped, and I eventually talked.
Of course, I told a fully terestrial version of the story
which wouldn't really wow them or arouse their suspicions, but instead
presented myself as a betrayed friend and Pennywinkel as a deranged
psychopath (Dale was disappointed).
There was silence after the story, but Gadget had one more
question. "So, why did she single me out?"
"Gadget," I says, "If there's a universal truth, its that you
will never understand Pennywinkel."

[END OF EPISODE]

EPISODE 2 - OMEGA THE INVINCIBLE

Plot Synopsis: Pennywinkel sends a part-man/part-robot
fighter after Frog.

[Begin tape]

Sometime after the earlier events of the day, Gadget came
into my room, telling me dinner was almost ready (Adding a sideline
about how Chip's cooking tastes like gasoline, snicker).
"If Chip's tastes like gasoline, and yours tastes like
Motor Oil," I asked, "What does Dale's and Monty's taste like?"
"Monty is the one we never complain about. He was an
adventurer, too (But you probably knew that) and picked up a
lot of recipes.
"However, we never let Dale or Zipper cook. Zipper is
simply too small."
"And Dale?"
"Oh, we're simply afraid he'll create a monster or something."
That was so accurate I almost laughed.
"Is your leg any better?"
"I'm not limping any more, if that's what you mean. Of course,
now that I've mentioned that, I'm probably going to start limping again
the minute I get up, just because fate has nothing better to do."
And then there was the dinner bell.
Chip's cooking didn't quite taste like gasoline, but it
was worse than Gadget's. Universal truth: Men can cook good or
even great but only women can reach perfection.
They noticed that I seemed a bit out of it. I was playing
with my food while staring into space. Eventually the fork would
lift itself up and put some of the meaty stuff into my mouth, then,
well, repeat.
"Is something wrong?" Gadget, and everyone else, was at
least partially worried about me, and not really hiding it.
"Oh, no, I was just wondering what Pennywinkel might be
dreaming up now."
"Worrying about it," said Chip, "Will only make it worse.
Besides, crazy crooks always follow patterns. We'll catch her
eventually."
"Patterns? What kinds?"
"Either they're always out to rob a bank or store, or they're
trying to destroy something. It's always connected to fame or money
somehow."
I would have liked to say that Pennywinkel could care less
about either, but I decided that, if us and her cross paths again,
he'll figure that out.
This time Monterey Jack cooked up something called a "Walnut
Waleroo" which seemed to be a type of cookie which we ate as desert.
Fortunately he had baked a large amount of them, so all of us, including
me, got two, then three, then five, seven, nine, twelve...
Okay, so I enjoyed the waleroos a little too much. Ah well.
Everyone else got full a little too soon. Guess I have a high
metabolism.
Ya know, I always love full moons. Either they symbolize
a crisp, clear night which reminds humanity (The fragment of humanity
that's listening, anyway) that, despite all the techno evolutions and
stuff, nothing has really ever changed. Either that or they say "Oh,
hey, watch out for the supernatural terrors, okay?"
This night struck me as just a reminder of the past. I started
going nostalgic, but I always kept the possibility of the supernatural
in mind. This was a full moon, you know, and that causes things to
happen.
Not far off, during my moon-gazing, I heard a wolf howling.
That didn't bother me half as much as the fact that Dale had been
watching horror movies and was scared out of his mind.
I walked in, and decided to watch the rest of the movie.
One problem I have with horror movies is that I always feel
constrained to laughing and pointing out the blatant stupidity of
the characters. Within minutes of me sitting down, already they
felt someone had to keep a hand over my mouth at all times.
When the darned thing was over, only then did they allow
me to talk, and Gadget informed me that all the nitpicking was to
be done after the movie (And never in Dale's presence).
"If you say so." I says.
I stayed watching for a minute, fancying that I was hearing
the Star Trek: Next Generation theme music. Then I looked at the
television, and realised it was off. I must be starting to hear
things. I miss my home universes' television.
But fortunately that didn't last. I was still sitting there.
Gadget was about to ask if I was going to get any sleep, when I abruptly
said "Quiet!" holding up a hand to emphasize. After a minute, I said
"Thought I heard something."
We listened for a few minutes, and Gadget said "Oh, that howling.
That's simply the animals from the zoo, it's really nearby. Sometimes
they scare Dale half to death though."
"How close is that zoo?"
"Oh, it's probably blocks away, why?"
"Because the thing I'm hearing is intentionally trying to sound
far-off," I got up, "I'm investigating."
"Frog, you're just hearing things." It was subtle, but I
detected a bit of tension in her voice. Then she ran in front of
me (because I was gonna go outside anyway) and, in a rather lighthearted
way, said "That movie didn't really scare you that much, did it?"
All in the way of light and humor, I said "You know me better
than that."
"Actually no, I don't."
"Well, take my word for it, I wouldn't bother if I didn't--"
I shut up when we started hearing scratching at the door.
"On the other hand," I says, "Problems like this do usually
go away with rest."
"Yea, I believe you're right," Now she was getting tense.
I'm sure glad I had those solar rechargers put on my laptop,
because RealJukebox was probably the only reason I got to sleep.
Course, it made me have wierdo dreams, but I love wierd dreams,
they make sleeping much more fun, especially when they're light
and happy wierdo dreams.
Course, when I woke up, I was like "Ah, darn. It couldn't
be reality, it just had to be a dream."
But things were, again, underway. Seems Gadget had remembered
the scratching (Why am I always the last one up?) and decided to look
at the door.
Sure enough, there were scratch marks there.
Did I mentioned Chip and Dale were up, too?
Chip, as usual, was convinced that there was a fully rational
explanation for it, Dale was already in werewolf paranoia.
"Let me outta here! I need to get some wolfsbane!"
"Dale, for the last time, it is not a werewolf!"
So I stepped in, and said "Can I see the scratches?"
"Sure," Gadget gave me enough room to see.
I couldn't make out what kind of scratches they were, but I
was sure of one thing already.
"These aren't even animal scratches."
Chip thought that was rediculus, and said "Right, I'm supposing
they were made by humans?"
Then Gadget, who had already reached the same conclusion, said
"He's right, Chip. An animal trying to break in would have scratched
wildly. There is some sort of pattern to these marks."
Chip took a closer look, and said "You know, you're right."
Me, Chip, and Gadget thought for hours, and tried everything,
including looking at it upside down and backwards, but couldn't make
any sense of the scratches.
"Perhaps whoever left these scratches, also left a clue. Let's
look outside." Yes, that was Chip's bright suggestion.
It didn't turn out to be as silly as I expected, because we
found a piece of paper with a bunch of lines drawn on it, neatly
tucked under a rock, not too far from the Ranger HQ.

[Cut from tape]

After the discovery, they searched some more, but then decided
to go back inside and compare the clues.
When they got back in, just before closing the door, Frog had
decided to make a paper copy of the scratches on the door, which then
he handed over to Chip for comparison.
It took a moment, but a thought struck Chip, and he put one
piece of paper behind the other, and then walked to a window where a
lot of sunlight was filtering in.
"Well, look at this! The lines overlap to form a picture."
"Golly, what kind of creature is that?"
The picture was of what looked like a see-through molecule
with tentacles.
Frog looked at the picture, and ended up saying out loud
"Why does it form a picture of a Metroid?"
"A what?" Gadget asked.
"One of those things."
Frog pointed out the window, and would you believe it,
an actual Metroid was outside the window, trying to bust in!
"What is that thing?" while stated by Gadget, was the
question on Chip and Dale's mind too.
"Stay back," Frog said, "I don't know their actual
strengths but Metroids may be able to penetrate the window."
It bonked the screen a few more times, and then retreated.

[Back to tape]

It, apparently, came back with some help. Someone opened the
door, and--now this was danged strange--we all three flew out as if we
were on a spaceship and someone breached the hull.
"Guys," I asked, "What just happened?"
A my-size grey guy flew in front of the door, then walked up,
and picked me up by the shirt.
"I was programmed to be gentle and return you alive. Why don't
you wave the white flag and no one will be hurt."
I noticed that Dale was gone, hopefully to get Monterey and
Zipper. Hoping to buy time, perhaps for a miracle, perhaps only for
Frodo to get a little farther on the road to Mordor, perhaps for me
to think of a better idea, I said "Well, I would love to oblige, but
I'm helping them right now, so wether I can go with you or not is not
my decision to make."
Apparently the grey guy had expected a sub-typical "I will never
surrender!" but of course I don't have the dignity to say that, because
all my dignity was shattered a long time ago and I decided to flip it.
In any case, he said "In that case, which of you is in command?"
It took some deciding, since no one is really "In command" of
the Rescue Rangers, but we decided to simplify things and say Chip
was the leader.
"And who, may I ask, are you?" said Chip.
Before the grey guy answered, I said "Sir, you're choking me."
He dropped me, and said "Excuse me." In a way which told me
he meant it to some extent.
Then he proceeded to answer Chip's question.
"I am called Omega, the Invincible."
"What happened to Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Zeta?" I asked.
"They never were. My creator, Pennywinkel," You knew that
was coming, right? "Did not think they were suiting names."
"And you're only reason for being here is to capture him?"
asked Gadget, "Why?"
"Because, young lady," I started tiptoeing away at this point,
"Pennywinkel needs him specifically. The motive is personal to her
and she would not inform me, so I can not inform you.
"In case of resistance, I have been programmed for battle.
Moppet, my pet Metroid--which is also mechanical--is programmed to
suck the life force out of any living being and transfer it to me,
so resistance is pretty futile.
"But that is a needless detail, it's obvious to me that you
know better than to try fate."
He didn't see me tiptoeing away, apparently. I got out of his
line of sight, and proceeded to unholster my sword, when he suddenly
turned and said "Moppet, come!"
And then I had a big, gooey, mushy Metroid on me.

[Cut from tape]

At that moment, Dale had returned with Monterey Jack.
"Alright," Monty was sounding threatening, "Who are you
and what do you want here? Me friend Dale here says you're causin'
trouble."
"Fear not, I only mean to take the one who calls himself
Dumb Frog back to my creator, but first I must reduce him to
unconsciousness. Afterwards, you shall never hear from me again."
"You're not taking anybody wether I hear from you or not!"
Monty proceeded to tackle the guy to the ground.
"Futile resistance. Look there, my pet is draining your
friend's power and giving it to me! You can not win!"
"I carn darn well try!"
Monterey whacked the guy in the chest and face a few times.
Oddly, he started bleeding.
"Wait a minute!" Gadget exclaimed, "I thought you said you
were mechanical!"
"Yes, but only in my logic dimension."
"Logic dimension?"
He didn't answer, and him and Monterey continued trading
punches. Difference was, Monterey was fighting great, Omega was
doing quite poorly, almost always being hit but simply refusing
to give in.
After at least five minutes, Monterey had hit at least
seventy-nine times, Omega only five. However, his namesake stuck,
for he clearly was invincible.
It seemed to everyone present that Omega was intentionally
getting beat...

[Back to tape]

I saw some of the fight through the Metroid--their clear skin
allows for a clear image, you know--but was violently fighting my own
battle to keep from becoming unconscious.
I'm supposing from an outside viewpoint, you'd think Monty
would win hands down, but then, being inside the Metroid, I knew he
couldn't win unless I somehow got out of this thing.
Eventually, through manic hard work and a lot of lifting and
pushing, I got Moppet the Metroid off of me. I beat at the thing
a few times, and eventually scared it off a bit.
Then Omega, who was probably modelled after a Dragon Ball Z
character, shot a beam out of his hand that cause a small explosion
that really didn't damage us, in fact it seemed more visual than like
anything that was supposed to do something.
But it was enough for Moppet to latch on to someone else.
When the flash cleared, the first thing we all saw was Gadget
struggling like me to get the thing off.
Monterey, being even more ticked at this (And that dirty
rotten flash trick) fought even harder, as did Omega (Since he was
now absorbing from someone who wasn't really the fighting type and
had more reason to defend himself).
This time Omega seemed to have the upper hand, and after a
few punches did the underhanded trick of elbowing Monterey in the
stomach.
And he did it hard enough to make the man fall, unable to
fight any longer.
Then he pointed at me, and said "You should have surrendered."
During the fight me and Chip had been trying to pry the thing
off Gadget, who seemed to be getting more and more tired.
Dale decided to play the hero, and said "I'll teach you to mess
with my friends!" and tried to fight Omega.
Of course, if even the great Monterey Jack couldn't do it,
Dale didn't stand a chance. The first thing Omega did was picked up
Dale and threw him right at the wall against which Gadget was standing.
Luckily, the throw (By accident I presume) impacted the Metroid full
force, forcing it off Gadget.
Before it re-latched, Omega yelled "Moppet, stop!" pointing
at me, he said "Young one, please recall I have the power now.
Surrender to me or I will have to hurt you."
I can't quite remember what happened after that, but something
he said made me think of something...

[Cut from tape]

"What are you doing?!" Chip asked excitedly.
Indeed, Frog had suddenly stopped pulling at the Metroid, and
seemed like he had just been zombified. Whatever happened, he was
now in what seemed to be a state of curiousity, then in some wierd
kind of joy as he started moving his fingers in some sort of rythm
and he began humming a song Chip had never heard before.
He also seemed to have become oblivious to all around him.
"So, small one," Omega said, "Do you surrender now?"
Then he and Omega saw that Frog was emitting some sort of blue
radiance.
Frog still seemed oblivious, and pulled his sword.
"Fine then, have it your way. Moppet, latch him."
Frog distanced himself from everyone, and made like he was about
to swing at something. The Metroid was right over him, preparing for
descent.
It shot downward.
At the same time Frog held his sword right in the air, impaling
the miserable creature, then he gave a cry of "By the power of
Greyskull!"
No, he didn't turn into a muscular superhero, however there
was some lightning effect (which blew the miserable impaled blob
into many very tiny pieces of jelly).
After about ten seconds, the lightning had gone, with everyone
who was conscious wondering "What was that?"
Then Frog walked up to Omega, and in one quick stroke (which
coincided with just one more shot of lightning) went from Omega's
arm to his stomach. For some reason, Frog didn't pull his sword
out. Maybe he was tired, or maybe he was really that out of it.
Whatever the case, you would think Omega's death would be
messy, but, he seemed to evaporate rather than die, as did the
globs of Jelly that once formed a Metroid.
And then Frog collapsed face-first.
Gadget had recovered after Moppet had been slain, and awoke
just in time to see Frog deliver the fatal slice, and his own subsequent
collapse.
"Golly, are you okay?"
Weakly, Frog said "Leave me here, I'll be fine."
Frog reached into his pockets, and pulled out a pack of what
at first seemed to be some form of candy. The label read "Mentos."
Frog put one in his mouth, and handed the rest to Gadget.
"What did you need these for?"
Frog simply responded "Fresh goes better with life." and then,
after briefly fancying that he heard that song playing, went to sleep.

[Back to tape]

The first thing I did was got up and looked around wildly.
Where had the battle gone? Why was I laying here unconscious?
And who the heck put this breath mint in my mouth? I know I couldn't
have, because I don't carry breath mints. It was lucky that they did
though (Leave me outside, I mean), because nature has some miraculus
recovery powers. Already I was feeling like I was living life from
scratch. This meant something in light of the fact that I usually
have a health risk somewhere. There wasn't even any disorientation
upon awakening, I was quite able, save for some minor pains from my
left leg (Can't trip me up now, can you?) to move freely back to the
front door.
I opened it up, walked in, and, seeing that they weren't
dead like I thought, said "Is everyone here?" Stupid question,
since they were all in plain sight.
Actually, Monterey and Dale were the only ones hurt, period,
except for Gadget's little bout with the Metroid and my, well, anything.
I was still full of unshared joy, but I noticed that my sword
was gone.
"Guys, I need my sword."
"Why?" was Gadget's question.
"Because, I've decided that Pennywinkel has proven she is capable
of anything and everything. It would be safer and easier if I left, found
her, and incapacitated her right now."
"Wait a minute!" Chip exclaimed, blocking the door, "Danger is
what the Rescue Rangers are all about. We handle things like this all
the time!"
"You don't know the full scope of the situation," I muttered.
"Which reminds me, you've still got some explaining to do."
"So?"
"So you're staying here."
"All right," I was sounding defeated and I knew it. Course I
couldn't think of exactly what Chip would want me to explain. At
the moment, I was just curious as to how, exactly, they defeated one
of Pennywinkel's creations.
So I started walking to my room.
When I got there, I found I was too tired to sleep, so I
played games instead.

[END OF EPISODE]

EPISODE 3: NORMAL'S LAST STRAND

SYNOPSIS: The Ranger's track a scientist's kidnapped
daughter.

PRE-EPISODE COMMENTARY: I was originally going to make
the third ep a sorta RR/TMNT Crossover, but decided against it,
since it would ultimately mean that the major revelation about
Dumb Frog would be made to the Rescue Rangers, and I want them
to be a bit more suspicious about him first. Besides, I'm having
enough trouble juggling the RR cast, juggling the TMNT cast was
just tearing me. The TMNT/RR Crossover will probably come later
on, assuming anyone actually wants to hear it.

THIS EPISODE DEALS WITH THE OCCULT, it may be inappropriate
for kids.

[BEGIN tape]

Today was mostly calm. Either Pennywinkel is busy fishing
up another plan to capture me or she's simply biding her time. I'm
worried though, something in my endlessly chattering brain tells me
that something just isn't right. Ah well.
As a side note, I'm totally back to normal, dull, boring,
normal, left leg and all. Smick it hurts.
While I was randomly walking around, I noticed Gadget in
her workshop. I decided just kinda walk in. Her inventions interest
me, more than everything else in this house anyway.
"Whatcha workin' on now?" I was doin a kinda Bambi imitation.
"A net-launching device."
"What for?"
"In case we find Pennywinkel again. I don't want her to get
away again time, and I don't think you do either." She then added
"Oh, be a dear and fetch that thingamajigger over there."
"Well, obviously." I got the thing, gave it to Gadget, sat
down beside her, and said, "By the way, this may sound like a stupid
question, but I've gone through life wanting to know..."
"Go on."
"What, exactly, is a sprocket?"
"One of these." she held up a sprocket [Author's note: Can you
tell I really don't know what that is?] "Can you get that wrench, please?"
"Sure."
I got the wrench.
"Hey, Frog, there was something I wanted to ask you." Then she
said, kinda to herself, "Darn, I left my screwdriver on the other table."
"Go on," I got her screwdriver.
"What, exactly, is the logic dimension?" Then she handed me
some goggles and told me to wear them.
I thought for a minute, and said "The brain."
"That's it?" She did a quick drilling job, and then told me to
pass the bucket full of screws.
"Not really, but the whole thing is beyond my understanding."
"Oh." She quickly screwed them in, and then said "There, it's
finished."
"Okay, are we gonna test-fire?"
"Yea, sure. You wouldn't mind standing in the clear, would you?"
I didn't. I saw where this was going, but of course I didn't
mind. After all, it wasn't like I had anything better to do.
It tested out perfectly. It took me five minutes to get out
of the bleepin' net, and realistically if it were Pennywinkel instead
of me in there, we would not allow five minutes.
Now we only had one thing left, to use it in a real situation.

Okay, it's been three days, and we have not only not had any
Pennywinkel activity, but little or no criminal activity, period!
Considering what town we're in, that is more than just a little
strange.
The Rangers, however, aren't half as paranoid as I am, and
decided to make the best of it. Chill out, have fun, let Dale sleep
in, and all that fun stuff.
At least this meant I wasn't the last one up anymore. I wonder
what kind of shows they have on a cartoon universes' television? Surely
they can't simply have those cheap action shows we always see them
watching on our televisions.
After awhile, everyone else woke up and had breakfast. I decided
not to eat any, since eating too early makes me sick. I instead checked
through the existing television stations.
It was when they decided to join me that I found something that
I later thought shouldn't even exist in this universe, made glaringly
obvious by the anouncement of the title, and when the theme came a
playin I was glued.
"What's this?" Gadget asked.
I was too busy silently singing along to answer.
"Here he comes that Mighty Mouse, just like a bolt from the blue,
with a heart that's true..."
"This an old favorite of yours?"
I think I made that fairly obvious.
Then, a distinct female voice, coming from the TV, said "I knew
that would get your attention."
And then, with a true liquid-metal type graphic effect, who
should come jumping right out of the TV screen but Pennywinkel herself.
Her velocity carried her to right behind the sofa.
"You!" Chip exclaimed, "Why are you here?"
"You better have a jolly good reason for interrupting Mighty
Mouse!" I says.
She rolled her eyes, and said "Oh, please, we've got stores
of Mighty Mouse back at home. "In any case, I'm here to make your
life more exciting."
"But our lives are exciting!" Chip explained.
"Only by your double dull standards." She said, then she
leaned on the couch, right behind me, and looked me square in the
eyes. "And besides, I was talking to my friend Frog here."
"My life is pretty exciting now too." I says, "I mean, these
guys tell me about their missions--"
"Have you ever been on one?"
"--Well, yea, when you caused those earthquakes--"
"Any not involving me?"
"--Not yet, you haven't given us a chance!"
She stood straight up, and laughed.
"Oh, fine then, I'll give you that chance. I won't even make
any attempts to put doubts in your mind. Just live and love every
minute of it for me, okay?"
I jumped over the couch, grabbed her, and said "Exactly what
are you up to?"
"You're getting corny again. That's fine," Then she surprised
us all by jumping up and kissing me briefly on the lips, "I like it
better that way."
Then, clapping one hand, she was gone.

Chip was the first to speak.
"Our lives are not boring! They're outrageous, fantastic,
dangerous, sometimes suicidal, anything but boring!"
"Yea," added Dale, "Who does that girl think she is! We're
not gonna let her get away with it!"
"Right, Dale! We're going to prove our adventures aren't
boring! Come on, to the police station! Frog, you're coming with
us! Rescue Rangers, away!"
Who the heck was I to refuse?
It was a cold and windy wait on top of the fan. They were
used to it, I was chilling, which isn't at all unusual considering
how perfect my health is (That's sarcasm. Sorry, Mr. Recorder, but
you didn't seem to catch that).
It didn't take long for us to catch a case.

"Any leads on that scientist's missing daughter?" the big
chief guy asked.
"No sir, but we'll keep looking."
"See that you do. We've already got guys hanging up flyers,
just in case. The press is gona play the story later, but they're
gonna leave out the part about his work on the particle beam which
we believe was the motive for the kidnapping."
"See there, we have a case already!" Chip sounded excited.
"Well that's all yippy-yippy good, but how do we get off this
bleepin' fan?" You can guess that I saysed that.
"Through our mousehole in the ceiling, of course!"
Well, flink, why not? I can climb, sure, I can fall, break
my neck, and die too, but I can climb.
So we scurried up to the hole in the ceiling, where these
guys had some sort of catapults rigged up, probably by Gadget, which
they used to travel back to their headquarters.
Problem is, there were only three of them. I elected to go
last.
Then some thought struck Chip, and he said "Better yet, how
about we come back for you in the Ranger Plane?"
"Nah, the catapults would be faster, besides I don't have that
kinda patience when there's work to be done."
"If you say so, but don't bust your leg or anything, okay?"
"Right."
Well, Chip still had doubts, but before him or anyone else
could say anything, I was alone and they were flying.
I readied the last mousetrap catapult, and heard Pennywinkel's
voice say from behind me "Having fun yet?"
"Well, yes," The pod was down, "We've got some case involving
a scientist's daughter being kidnapped and there's a weapon involved.
Besides, I'm about to fly."
"Oh, really. You got a healthy dose of happy thoughts?"
"And pixie dust besides." I was in the catapult now. "Hey,
you wouldn't mind setting it off, would you?"
Using her one-handed mallet, she hammered the trigger, and
I was away. I'm supposing she didn't mind.
My reception was a sock with a hole in the foot. I thoroughly
missed the sock but caught the pole it was attached to.
"What took you so long?" asked Chip, who was waiting.
"Oh, just a small distraction, nothing unusual." I slid down.
"Well, hurry, the news report is already playing!"
The news said, essentially, that the girl was abducted walking
home from school (No surprise) by a skinny guy in black who no one
caught a good look at except for his cape. The police believe it
was a terrorist attack with the intention of blackmail, but so far
have recieved no demands.
Afterwards, we decided to fly strait to the city street corner
the abduction was witnessed on, and there commenced investigation.
It took us awhile before we saw anything out of the ordinary.
That something was a coin of some sort, which was found by Gadget.
"Hey guys, look at this!"
"Looks like a coin."
"Yes, but this isn't American, or any other kind of coin I'm
familiar with. Look at the symbols."
On the front, there was what looked like horns, on the back
was some sort of trident.
"Guys," Dale said, "we're dealing with some wierd terrorists."
Thing is, this lead didn't really take us anywhere, except for
we found a name carved on the side with the horns.
"Danathan S. Crussler?" Chip asked. Apparently they considered
that an odd name, but it gave us our first lead.
"So what do we do now?" Dale asked.
"Simple, we find this Crussler guy, and follow him. He may
lead us strait to the girl!"
"So, we gonna investigate all the Donathan S. Crusslers in
the phone book or what?" I asked.
"We have no choice, to the phonebook!"
We found a nearby phone booth and skimmed through the one
there. In an odd but lucky break, there was only one Donathan S.
Crussler, and his home address was a location very nearby. We flew
there immediately.
The man, a tall, skinny guy who looked like your average joe,
had what looked like a normal house, normal life, normal everything.
"This guy doesn't look suspicious at all!" Chip said.
"Well, until you notice he has what seems to be an authentic
copy of the Necronomicon." I pointed out.
"The what?" Gadget asked.
"Necronomicon, a really ancient and evil spellbook. Some
think it's just a translation of the Egyption Book of the Dead, but
that is definately not the case."
"Why not?"
"Because Book of the Dead is full of Egyptian ceremonies,
not demonic summonings."
"Did you say demonic summonings?"
"Yeppers."
"I have an idea!" Chip said, "Look, he's going out! We'll just
hitch a ride on top of his car and tag along."
Well, no one was opposed, so why not?
Me, Chip, and Dale landed on top of the car, Gadget, Monty,
and Zipper were going to follow in the Ranger Plane.
It wasn't more than a minute before what's-his-name got out
here and started driving us down the road. We drove past a random
assortment of stands and shops and buildings and places for about
ten minutes, then we stopped in front of what looked like an abandoned,
dilapitated building built probably a hundred years ago.
Before he got out, the man changed into some dark, cloaked form.
We noticed he had a pouch on his side, and decided to jump for it. Chip
and Dale landed right beside the opening, I landed a bit more downward
and had to climb in.
He walked up to the door, and did some sort of "Secret knock"
I guess. Then he said "The forest knocks at daybreak."
Then the door opened.
"Guys," I said, "I don't think these are terrorists."
"No, you think?" was Chip's reply.
"Ah, Danathan, good to see you. I'm assuming you're ready
to begin the ceremony?"
"Yes, Consor, immediately."
We peeked out of the bag. You'll never believe it, but we
were in a big, carpeted red room full of robed figures.
And the missing girl was tied to the altar in the center.
"So, Chip, you have a plan? Cuz I sure don't."
"I'm thinking."
Our guy stood right beside the altar, and began giving some
sort of cultist pep-talk while we climbed onto the altar.
"Frog," Chip said, "You do some magic to scare them away,
and we'll cut through the ropes."
"Okay, Lumite, Cumandummo, Nummow! Oh, guess I'm not a
magician, but seriously, what's your plan?"
I'm not sure what exactly he had expected, but the look on the
face told me he thought I would do something.
"That was my plan! Do what you did to Omega!" Chip seemed
just a bit agitated. I was lost.
"What about Omega?"
"You know, 'By the power of grade school' or whatever it was."
"Chip, you're losing me." I was quite thoroughly confused.
"Oh, never mind. Look, Since you have the sword, you just cut
the girl free. We'll cause a distraction."
Well, heck, that's better than expecting me to do the impossible.
So him and Dale lined up at the side of the table. After doing
a countdown, they jumped right on to the preachy guy, scurried up his
robe, went inside, and I'm supposing he was tickled senseless, because
he started laughing like crazy and had trouble keeping balance, which
is bad when you happen to have a sacrificial dagger in one hand.
So anyway, I began cutting through the ropes, using all the
turtle power I could muster. I eventually ended up wondering about
what Chip had said, and attempted to speed up my job by yelling both
"Strength of the Bear" and "Speed of the Puma" but neither were having
any real effect.
I eventually heard one of the cultists say "Look! Rodents!
The mighty one is sending his minions to stop our ceremony!" yea,
and they're their rodents' keepers, whatever. Cultists are wierd
sometimes.
"Hey, this one's got a sword! And he's freeing our sacrifice!"
Somehow I got the feeling I had been spotted.
"That's no rodent! That's a miniaturized human! Mice don't
have swords." Brilliant observation, Sherlock! Now go analyze some
dirt for me.
"No one knows the workings of the animal kingdom, dear brother,
ever seen The Secret of NIMH?"
Then the preachy one, Crussler, got up and said "It makes no
difference! These rodents have interefered, and must be dealt with
as we would any humans!"
He turned, and prepared to impale me. I dodged the knife
(Which did a good job of cutting some of the ropes for me) and
continued dodging.
I guess the chipmunks were getting desperate, because they
started rolling vases at these guys. Oddly enough, it worked.

[Cut from tape]

Frog took care of himself, but also continued cutting himself
some ropes.
Gadget and Monterey Jack were on a higher shelf, full of old
plates and stuff. They had witnessed most of it from up there while
trying to figure out a way to help.
It wasn't long before Gadget had an idea.

[Back to tape]

Then some plates started falling from all those shelves. When
I saw Gadget and Monterey Jack up there, it confirmed for me the one
thing I had always been wondering. Now I knew: People collect plates
hoping they'll come in useful! Course, I woulda threw 'em like crazy
if I were human-sized right now.
But I couldn't let that distract me, I had somehow managed to
get down to my last strand of rope.
And that last strand seemed like it just would not give, no
matter how many whacks I took at it.
Then, on my last whack, I yelled, just out of aggrivation,
"Strength of the bear!"
I'm not sure wether it was just me, but it seemed like some
sort of flash came up, and then I hit that rope one last time.
It broke.
The girl, who had previously been doing nothing but struggling,
bolted. None of the cultists ever noticed, they were too busy trying
to keep on their feet. I sheathed my sword.
Gadget shot a harpoon with a rope attached to the table, and
then said "Frog, get Chip and Dale, then grab the harpoon!" in perfect,
almost text-adventure-esque phrasing.
So I ran to the side of the table, and said "Chip! Dale! Mission
objective clear, get the heck up here!"
They did. I quickly told them to grab the rope, and when they
did, I grabbed it myself.
Within seconds, we were all on that high shelf, which extended
into the hallway near the door where the Ranger Plane was parked. We
used one of the plungers on the bottom of the thing to open the door and
flew out.
It was well into night by now.

[Cut from tape]

The child had ran wildly after escaping, and ran strait into
some police officers, to whom she quickly explained her story. They
didn't believe the part about being rescued by mice but they did
identify her as the scientist's missing daughter. Within hours, the
cultists were rounded up and charges were pressed and everyone was
happy.

[Back to tape]

"So Chip," I says, "What exactly did happen to Omega? I don't
think I ever found out."
"Golly!" Gadget said, "You mean you don't know?"
"Errr, no, I don't. Chip seems to think I had something to
do with his defeat though."
"Well," Chip said, "We were trying to pry that whatever it was
off of Gadget, when suddenly you seemed to forget what was going on
and become totally oblivious to everything. Then you held up your
sword, said something, and lightning started dancing around. Then
you slashed at Omega and, well, he died... I think."
Gadget filled in the details that she could remember.
But I was still not recalling it. "Okay, I'll take your word
for it, but I still don't remember anything.
"One last thing. I don't carry breathmints, never have."
"Then where did they come from?"
"I dunno. But if they really were Mentos, then they're definately
not mine, because I hate Mentos. Always prefered Breathsavers, and then
only Winterfresh."
"I'll take your word for it." Was Gadget's last word. Something
in her voice told me that she had other thoughts though.
The rest of the flight home was totally silent.

[Cut from tape]

Later that night, Frog and Gadget were working on another
project, because neither could really get to sleep. They had no
idea what they were doing, in fact it would seem to an outsider
that the whole "We're inventing" thing was an excuse to chatter
the night away.
Eventually, Frog broguht in the question, "So, you guys
have never had a case involving cults?"
Gadget tinkered with something, in a kinda disinterested
fashion, and hesitantly said "Well, actually, there was one time
that I remember quite clearly. We were out testing the Rangermobile,
you see, and we had stumbled into this store room..."
She ended up summarizing how one guy had rigged her inventions
and how the Rangers had discovered the secret money-stealing operation.
The kicker was that Gadget had almost decided to join this cult, but
had a change of heart when she felt her spirits weren't really being
lifted.
"Ever since then, I've been wary of anything resembling a
cult I've ever seen."
Frog thought for a minute, and said "Yea, I see what ya mean.
I probably woulda felt the same way. Course, a drink is a silly thing
to found a cult around, but I've seen worse."
"Like what?"
He sighed, and said "Where I come from, there were these movies,
collectively known as the Star Wars Trilogy. They were some of the
highest ranking Science Fiction films ever there, but truthfully I
never understood what was so great, they seemed like a collection of
flashy fights and chase scenes to me."
"Golly, isn't that what Science Fiction is about?"
"If it were, there wouldn't be Science Fiction books. And
even on television there was stuff like Quantum Leap and Star Trek..."
"Never heard of 'em."
"Around here, that's no surprise. Star Trek was like the
deep, thoughtful version of Star Wars, and depended more on morality
than great effects. At least, until the spin-off, Star Trek: Deep
Space Nine came out, in which the whole franchise went downhill."
"And Quantum Leap?"
"A very moralized time-travel show with a great opening theme.
Oh yea, the show is good at times too, though after awhile the plotlines
became a bit predictable. But it was funny at times. I think I have
the theme on this laptop of mine, actually..." He had been carrying
the thing, and he layed it on the table and opened it up, essentially
starting it up.
"How does that thing work, exactly?"
"Well, I don't know all the inner workings, but this black,
shiny stuff on the case provides solar power so I won't have to rely
on batteries. And, umm... opening it turns it on, and you use the
keyboard and the sensorpad to do things on it..."
And that was the extent of his knowledge, except for the
other basics like disk drives and hard drives.
"I don't have any disks with me though, and before I came
travelling, I picked one, only one, CD, and left it in the CD-ROM
drive."
He picked the Daggerfall CD. Of course, that meant he'd
never play Jagged Alliance again, but heck.
Before he did anything, he checked and made sure that the
Rescue Rangers theme was no where on any of his playlists, then he
played the Quantum Leap theme.

[End of Episode]

POST-EPISODE commentary: As you can tell, I had some problems
trying to write this episode. The reason I even bothered was because
I wanted to be in semi-normal Ranger territory for awhile, so Dumb
Frog and me could have a "Feel" for their more normal cases (Not that
this episode would ever happen on the actual TV show, but you get the
picture). I also wanted an episode where Dumb Frog was a tag-along
rather than a story element and where the villain was someone other
than Pennywinkel.
In fact, I actually wanted to use a regular from the show for
this one, but I figured the "Oh it's not a terrorist blackmail it was
a cult thing" would be a much better idea, and I can't think of any
recurring villains who would be cultists (Except for that guy from
Case of the Cola Cult, but he would not be human-sized, kidnapping
human children, nor would he have the Necronomicon. Besides, that
would have HAD to have boiled down to some sort of con-man robbery
operation).
Oh yea, there were several things I snipped from this episode.
Originally, at the scene where the cultists were gonna stab
Frog, I was going to have Pennywinkel come in and decide to just beat
the cultists. This would have reenforced the fact that she wants Frog
alive and would have shown that she was a darn great warrior, but other
than that it would have made no sense.
I also planned for Pennywinkel to appear on the Ranger Plane
and intimidate the living daylights out of the Rescue Rangers, but
that would have been totally pointless except for making her look
egotistical (She's not, she's just idealistic).
And just to tide this over now: I don't plan for any
characters, mine or otherwise, to really go exploring any romantic
involvements at any time. This means, of course, that there isn't
going to be any Frog & Gadget relationships (In fact, I've been
meaning to portray that all the Rangers think of Frog as a kid).
So what was with Pennywinkel kissing Frog earlier in the episode
then? Sorry, can't tell.
Originally, the scene at the end, between Frog and Gadget,
was not going to happen. I figured Rangerphiles might like the
tieback to "Case of the Cola Cult" but might not like some guy
explaining to her how a laptop works (You must remember that a
cartoon PC works nothing like a real PC), but then I thought and
figured it was also true for the vice versa (I mean, this episode
just SCREAMS for a reference to the Cola Cult!).

EPISODE ##: THE LAST CHAPTER

SYNOPSIS: After a few more adventures, revelations are made
and this series concludes.

PRE-EPISODE Commentary: This is probably going to be a
long episode, but because I am losing interest in Rescue Rangers
(In favor of He-Man--hope no one minds) I decided it was time to
wrap this baby up and move on. Sorry, I didn't number this
episode in case I felt like coming back later and "Adding on"
or in case someone else decided they wanted to add on to this
(Just don't take the characters wildly out of character, okay?)
I'm not sure this one is appropriate for kids.

[BEGIN tape]

Today was seeming normal. We decided to start out having
some fun and go to that waterfountain in the middle (Or wherever)
of Central Park.
We got there, changed into our swimming clothes (Out of
everyone's sight, of course) and just jumped in.
I decided I was gonna do some diving at the deep end of
the fountain, when who should I see but my old friend Pennywinkel,
still wearing the scientist outfit.
The first thing she did was push me in, after saying "Having
fun, I see?"

[Cut from tape]

That was when Frog started splashing around wildly, having
remembered one important detail.
"Frog, is something wrong?" Gadget yelled.
"I'm fighting blind in a future time and just remembered I
can't swim!"
Then Pennywinkel jumped in, grabbed Frog, and said "Mr. Elite
of the Inept should learn some life-saving skills and not depend on me
all the time. Frog, can I talk to you alone for a minute?"
Frog hadn't expected this at all, and quite dumbly said "Sure,
why?"
Pennywinkel snapped, and whispered the question "Has the fourth
wall been broken yet?"
The Rangers, having heard this, looked at each other, wondering
what she could mean.
"Errr, no, I'm pretty sure it hasn't."
"You're positive?"
"Hey, if it had I would have known by now."
Pennywinkel thought, and said "Well, I'll give you that."
"Exactly what evil plan are you up to this time?" Gadget asked,
"And what are you two talking about?"
"As it is, Rescue Rangers," Pennywinkel said, "My latest plan--
late in the sense that I meant to use it earlier--involves water."
She did some hand motion, and made water from the front of the
fountain spurt upwards, then back down.
"My multidimensional thought pattern has given me the insight
I need to be able to manipulate reality however I see fit for my
plans. It allows me to make the impossible, possible, make something
from nothing, make fantasy reality."

[Back to tape]

Now, of course, they were wondering exactly what the heck she
was talking about, which is no surprise since Pennywinkel was being
just a little crazy.
So I explained "In other words, she has no grip on reality."
Pennywinkel rolled her eyes and said "Well, that's close
enough."
"That's nice, but exactly what," said Chip, "do you plan to
do?"
"Sure, but first, can someone else hold Mr. Can't Swim?"
I tried to swim, while constantly saying "Oh, that's okay,
I can swim, I can swim."
"Right, whatever." She decided it was prudent to pick me up
and throw me at the Rangers, at whcih point I started drowning again,
but Chip and Gadget saved me.
Pennywinkel, after checking to make sure she had everyone's
attention, proceeded to float above the water. Then, raising that
mallet of hers, yelled out "Hammer of Thundera," Then, just as some
glowing column came up around her, she struck the water and said
"Strike like Thunderball!"
Apparently she musta done something, because the water all
splashed out of the fountain and strait into the air, and we all went
kerplunk.
"I still fail to understand your plan." Gadget said.
I shook my head, and said "What kinda corny name is Hammer of
Thundera?"
"Oh, be quiet," Pennywinkel said, "You call that toy of yours
the Fuzzy Tomato, so what are you complaining about?"
Dale laughed, and said "The Fuzzy Tomato?"
I replied "Well, I was going to call it the Brave Starsword."
"Why didn't you?"
"The reference was too obvious."
Then Pennywinkel threw in "Besides, my hammer is called the
Decepticon, you infinite moron."
"That's nice guys," Gadget said, "but I still fail to understand
this plan of hers. Is she just going to make all the water in the city
float?"
"Watch." Pennywinkel then pointed one of her mallet's flats
at the water in the air, causing some sort of beam to fly at the water,
which apparently was causing more water to form out of nowhere. Then
she turned back to us and said "Prepare to swim along with the Snorks."
"What about the Tigersharks?"
"Well, I could remember the Snorks off the top of my head."
Gadget asked "Who are the Snorks? Or the Tigersharks for that
matter?"
"The Snorks were just a bunch of dumb people with snorkles
on their heads who lived underwater. Can't tell ya much about the
Tigersharks, last time I saw it was years ago."
Then Pennywinkel ran over, grabbed me, and said "Sorry to leave
you, but we gotta run." I think the Rangers tried to grab us, but she
flew away in microseconds.

[Cut from tape]

The Rangers had barely said "Darn" before the water came tumbling
down on them, and they had to swim for it. Fortunately, there was a lot
of debris and stuff they could hold on to.
Chip was about to suggest swimming for the side of the fountain
until he realised that it was far underwater. Looking around, he saw
the one place that looked safe and not wet. Shockingly, the water had
stopped just inches below the front door to the Ranger HQ.
"Guys! Swim to headquarters!"
Gadget commented "It doesn't seem we have much choice, Chip."
They were inside within minutes, and already Chip was formulating
a plan.
The best he could come up with was "Everyone get prepared, this
time we're finding that girl and putting her away for good."
"But Chip! We don't know where she might be hiding!"
"Then we'll just have to look everywhere. I'm going to stock up
on supplies, and I think everyone else should do the same. But first,
let's get out of our swimming gear."
On the way between her room and the living room of the HQ,
Gadget passed Frog's room after changing clothes. Stopping, she looked
around, and thought about how much the kid had helped with the daily
chores, as well as their cases.
For some reason, she felt compelled to enter, and actually
did without really thinking about it.
She saw the laptop, which Frog had left playing music all
night. Sitting down on the bed, she grabbed it.
Then she remembered something that had struck her curiosity
the other night, when he had started up that Quantum something theme
song. There was a song on every playlist that she always saw him
deleting, but he did it too fast for her to really see the title.
This seemed a little odd, to say the least. She had wondered what
it was and why, exactly, he didn't want her hearing it.
She looked through the list that simply read "All tracks"
(Frog uses Realjukebox) and looked at the list. There was a bunch
of random stuff, some she had heard through Frog, others she hadn't
heard at all.
And then suddenly, she had another question, as she had
seen a song labeled simply "Rescue Rangers."
And she played the song.

Dumb Frog and Pennywinkel were on top of some funny-looking
cat food factory, looking down at the water which had covered the
streets of the city.
"So, you planned, ultimately, to cover the streets of the
city?"
"No, this is just the set-off. Now your Rangers will come
after me with a vengeance, hoping to capture me once and for all."
They had not noticed a huge cat sneak up behind them.
"Rangers, you say?" said Fat Cat, "This wouldn't happen
to be the Rescue Rangers, would it?"
Pennywinkel turned towards Fat Cat, and said "Why yes, how
did you ever guess?"
"I was in the middle of a master operation when that flood
occured. Now it had to be postponed, because of you!"
In frustration, Fat Cat threw a rock in their general direction.
It missed, but Pennywinkel watched it hit and commented "Expecting to
summon the Sea Ponies, I presume?"
"I don't like mice on my cat food factory, especially smart-
alecks like you, and I don't want the Rescue Rangers coming here,
either!"
"Oh, calm down. We shouldn't really be fighting. You want
the Rescue Rangers gone too, so why don't you just stay the heck away
from me and let me have my way, okay?"
"Why should I take orders from someone five times smaller than
me? Men, get her!"
They tried, she jumped, they bumped their heads, she landed and
laughed.
"Oh, all right, I'll get her myself!"
Before Fat Cat even made a move, Pennywinkel had produced her
mallet and, swinging it rythmatically, said "Thunder, Thunder, Thunder,
Thundercats, Ho!"
Each time she said "Thunder" a bright light surrounded her and
she got bigger, until she said "Ho!" when a really bright light surrounded
her.
When the light was about to dim, she laughed and yelled out "Jem
is my name, no one else is the same!" and she was a regular sized human.
Fat Cat backed down, and said "On the other hand, we could discuss
a deal..."
"Fine, here's my terms: You stay inside your factory, keep your
men with you, and I'll handle the Rangers."
"Of course, your wish is my command! Let's go, boys!"
And they were gone.
Pennywinkel shrunk back to mouse-size.

They flew all over, looking for any sign of Dumb Frog and
Pennywinkel. Chip spotted them first.
"They're on the top of Fat Cat's factory!"
"Right, then we're going down!"
"Oh, lookie, here they come to rescue me!" Frog was just being
silly now.
"Well, well. Didn't take them long, did it? Time to put things
in action."
She held up her hammer, and whatever she did caused a sorta black
hole to open up.
"Hold on, guys! We're being sucked in!"
Try as hard as she might, Gadget could not maneuver the plane
fast enough to escape the hole's pull, and they were eventually dragged
in.
Pennywinkel grabbed Frog and jumped in soon afterwards.
"Where are we?" Gadget asked.
"Looks like a series of twisty hallways to me." Was Dale's
smart reply.
That's pretty much exactly what it was, too. In fact, they
were smack dab in the center of a crossroads, with four seperate
ways to go.
Chip made the only possible suggestion, "We'll all have to
split up, each going different paths. If you find something, retrace
your steps back here."
It wasn't like any of them had a better idea.
"Okay, is there a reason you decided to put me in a cage?"
Pennywinkel glared at Frog, and said "No specific reason,
just thought it would look less suspicious when one of your friends
finally does arrive. Besides, I'm itching to get these little
escapades over and done with."
"Ah, so, you wanna hurry up and capture the Rescue Rangers
and that be that?"
"Yep. Frog, I'm getting tired of the secrecy, and we had
some fun, I got bored of this universe pretty quickly, and can't
see what exactly you see in it."
Frog, for once in his life, was thoughtful, and said "Well,
the great thing about the Rangerverse has never been sharing the
adventure, it was sharing it with four of the most developed characters
in Disney history."
Pennywinkel slapped herself in disbelief, and said "Frog,
be serious. These are not cartoon characters any more, they are
real people, and you don't think about real people by literary
standards. I never have even before we started tripping, its all
a ruse, just an unnesecary bunch of standards because people think
it makes them look intelligent, wouldn't you rather just enjoy yourself
for once?"
"I would." That was Gadget, who had just made it there. Already
she pulled out the net-launcher and was set to fire it.
"Hon," said Pennywinkel, "That didn't work last time, why try
again?"
"I don't really have a choice."
Gadget fired. This time, Pennywinkel moved fast and just dodged
the net rather than do something fancy.
But apparently, Gadget didn't care, she was already trying to
pick the lock on Frog's cage.
"Tisk tisk. That won't work, mouse-girl."
Gadget looked at Pennywinkel and said "Why not?"
"Because, while Frog didn't know it, the cage was unlocked."
Armed with that knowledge, Gadget proceeded to simply throw open
that cage. But around the same time, Pennywinkel had picked the net up
off the floor, threw it over Gadget, and put her in the cage.
This time she locked it.
"Don't worry, Frog," Gadget whispered, "When she's gone, I can
pick the lock with my tail."
"I, I wouldn't be so sure." Pennywinkel had overheard that little
remark. When Frog and Gadget noticed her, she had a lighter up to said
lock, which she doused almost immediately.
"Now that the mechanisms are melted, this lock is un-unlockable."
Gadget was locked in stunned silence for a few minutes. Dumb
Frog was just, well, locked, no silence specified. Pennywinkel walked
off, apparently leaving the room.
Gadget regained herself, and said "Well, that being as it is,
then I guess all I can do is start asking questions, of which I have
plenty."
Frog, having relegated himself to the status of mildly-depressed
prisoner of an obsessed, crazy, multidimensional girl, simply said "Fine."
The hallway Chip had taken led right to a set of stairs, which
seemed like they'd forever go downwards. He thought that was impossible
though, and continued going.
By contrast, Monterey had found stairs that seemed like they went
upwards forever.
And Dale had simply found an endless hallway.
All three wondered what the other three had found. Maybe the
others had found Dumb Frog and Pennywinkel and were back at the cross-
section by now, or maybe they had gotten into danger or, worse... they
didn't even wanna think about that.
"Riddle me this, Frog," she said, mocking a phrase he had used
a lot of times, "Why is it that you happen to have a song on your computer
that is about the Rescue Rangers, specifically Chip and Dale?"
Dumb Frog played dumb.
"Don't toy with me Frog. You've been suspicious ever since you
fought Omega. The power of Greyskull, remember that?"
"Of course he doesn't!" exclaimed Pennywinkel, "He only uses
magic like that when he's in half-delusional states. You know, New York,
Mississippi, Washington..."
"Fine then, but I know he knows the answer to my other question."
Frog hesitated, and then, finally said "Pennywinkel, should I
tell her or not?"
Pennywinkel waved her hand dismissively and said "Go ahead, it's
fine with me."
Dumb Frog, having a weakness against women, decided to tell Gadget
the whole story.
"Well, okay Gadget, I suppose I'll level with ya. Remember when
I said I was a long-time adventurer? Well, okay, so that's true, but
not in the way I implied."
Pennywinkel finally just yelled "Quit pussyfooting and get to
the darn point!"
"All right! Geez. Okay," Frog, suddenly seeming afraid and
defensive, put his hands over his head in a sort of protective manner.
"Gadget, we're from an alternate universe."
Gadget had a hard time getting this, "You mean dimension, right?"
"No, Universe. A dimension is an alternate version of a universe,
a universe is an unrelated plane of existence.
"In our universe, you and your Rescue Rangers are not real people.
Mice don't talk, wear cloths, or even think or solve mysteries. Where we
come from, you guys are a daily cartoon series."
Chip had continued going down the stairs, until finally, he bumped
into both Dale and Monterey at the same time. Monterey had been going up
the stairs and Dale had come from a hallway which had suddenly appeared.
"What is going on?" Was the first thing Chip said.
"Seems like we've been walking in circles, me lads. You know what
I think? I think there's something funny going on. There ain't nothin'
natural about these stairs or even that hallway!"
"You may be right. We better get back to the cross-section and
see if Gadget found anything. Come on, we'll just use the hallway here."
That probably made them take another hour or so.
Gadget didn't know how quite to take this news.
"Frog, that's great! Why didn't you tell us that right from the
beginning?"
"Right, like you'd have believed me."
"He's right," Pennywinkel said, "Before we came along, your lives
were very hum-drum, compared to what we've lived through. If he had said
right off the bat that he was from an alternate universe, you would have
thought he was crazy."
Gadget thought about this, and realised that Pennywinkel was
right.
Frog squeaked out "Is that all?"
"No, I've got dozens more. Why was it about Chip and Dale
specifically?"
"Because, while they're not really any more important than anyone
else, they're throwbacks from an older series of Disney cartoons where
they used to cross paths with Donald Duck a lot.
"Now, I know you were gonna ask me about those eventually, so I
think I'll tell you now. In these older ones, Chip and Dale were just
ordinary chipmunks, often they got into loads of trouble just trying to
get something done, like there was this one where they stole a model ship
from Donald Duck in order to reach an island which was full of acorns."
Gadget gave him a skeptical stare and said "Are you sure? That
doesn't at all sound like the Chip and Dale I know."
"See? You don't believe me already.
"Anyway, remember what I said about universes and dimensions?
Well, this is a dimension. Chip and Dale are here, so there's an
obvious connection, but their roles have been drastically changed.
They are not Rescue Rangers, just ordinary chipmunks.
"That ain't the only discrepancy, either. Dale was more
intelligent, Chip was nicer and less uptight, Dale didn't have a red
nose and they both had the exact same voice, so it was near-impossible
to tell them apart."
Gadget assumed they dressed the same, too, since Frog decided
not to mention the fact that, in his universe, animals usually don't
wear clothing. No telling how she would have taken that information.
Of course, Gadget was full of curiosity, so she asked all sorts
of stuff.
"Well, was it popular? I mean, how many seasons did it last?
Who was the most popular character?"
"Whoa girl, you're going to fast for me. Let me answer your
questions first.
"Well, yes, the show was fairly popular, and is still watched
today. However, Disney treats its shows like junk and never realises
a hit when they got one, so they just made one season of it and left
it at that, and move on to other things. Its because of philosophy
like that that they've created junk recently...
"Oh yea, and you wanted to know who the most popular character
is, right? Well... if I remember, it was either Chip or you, though
there's groups of fans dedicated to Dale and Monty as well."
"Gosh, what about Zipper?"
"Ah, he maybe has a fan or two, I haven't heard of any fan
groups though. He's more like a character who's there because his
presence is convenient more than anything."
"Really?"
"Yea, there was even a sub-par episode where Zipper had been
grown to a huge size and everyone thought he was an alien. The episode
got lame near the end, when the writers decided that your character
should degrade to just pointing out what could have happened if Zipper
was there."
Frog wasn't about to right out say to Gadget that he thought
Zipper was an almost totally useless character. Nevertheless, Gadget
did not like hearing about her friends in such a manner, and was
quick to change the subject.
Chip, Dale, and Monty had arrived back at the Cross-section,
wondering what happened to Gadget.
"Come on, men! We aren't going to find her by waiting. Does
anyone remember what hallway she took?"
Using the process of elimination, they were able to determine
it, and walked on.
"So then, what was our biggest competitor--for ratings, I mean?"
"Well at the same time--your show was made in 1989--there were
many competitors around. At the time, the big stars there, well, Fox
was playing a popular kids show called Denver, the Last Dinosaur, and
they also hosted the ever-loved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles..."
Pennywinkel knew that if he continued, Gadget would probably
not like it. She would think, as Pennywinkel did, that Rescue Rangers
really paled by comparison.
So she said "Hey, Frog, why don't you rest your mouth for a
bit? Here, have a drink you two, and let's sit down and watch some
cartoons."
Frog was getting excited, and asked "Cartoons? Real cartoons?"
"Yep! How does a bit of ol' Filmation sound?"
Frog had his eyes on the TV screen which Pennywinkel had
conveniently moved in front of the cage.
She flipped it on, and turned on a tape.
Frog was like all happy and stuff, and Gadget, for the first
time ever, saw an episode of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

It took Chip and the others hours to reach the holding room,
and the two prisoners seemed like they were zombies.
"Guys! Are you okay? What did she do to you?"
Both Gadget and Frog pointed at the TV screen.
"Wowie! A cartoon! Hey, what is this?"
Frog went a little crazy with joy, and said "It's He-Man and
the Masters of the Universe! Pennywinkel has the whole series!"
It didn't take long before Dale really got hooked. "Wowie!
This is better than the Red Badger of Courage!"
"Think this is great, wait until Pennywinkel shows us the
spin-off series, She-Ra: Princess of Power!"
"Is it anywhere near as good as this?"
"It's twice as good."
"Be serious, you guys!" Chip suddenly exclaimed, "We have to get
you two out of there, before Pennywinkel returns!"
Monterey tried to break the lock, first with his hands, then with
all other assorted odds and ends, but to no avail.
"It's no use, Chipper me lad. They're stuck good in there!"
Pennywinkel "Returned" At just that moment (She had actually been
standing in a chosen spot where she wouldn't enter anyone's line of sight
until they looked) and said "Right, I melted the lock. Sorry to cut the
show off, guys," She cut the show off, "But now that everyone's here, its
time things got underway."
"Now guys, I hope you're well-rested, because for awhile now you're
not going to have any sleep."
"Umm, Pennywinkel, I need sleep."
Pennywinkel, not being totally heartless, thought and said "All
right, then I'm putting you guys to sleep for eight hours. I need a
nap myself, but once you pop, the fun won't stop."
She snapped her fingers, and they all fell into a deep, dark
sleep.
When they awoke, they found themselves not in some room with a
cage and television, but in what seemed to be the main room of a deserted
house. There was an eerie blue glow about the place.
Frog was the first to feal the fear.
Gadget wasn't thinking anything at first, and said "What's wrong,
Frog?"
Pennywinkel entered just then, and said "John the fearless lost
his nerve."
Frog put his hands over his head defensively again, and said "Guys,
we're in a haunted house."
Dale heard that, and said "Ah, Frog, we deal with ghosts all the
time. This ain't even gonna phase us."
"But you don't know about my universe. Mine and her idea of
ghosts is nothing like yours."
As if to emphasize the point, the ground shook and there was
a sound like a bunch of people walking. After a minute or so, it stopped.
Now Dale was scared, "I think I see what you mean."
Everyone got really close together, even Pennywinkel despite that
she wasn't really afraid of anything.
"Well guys, I can say one thing, the ghosts in our universe usually
don't harm people."
Pennywinkel decided to be mean and say "True, but this is one of
the exceptions. These ghosts are harmful as well as spooky. Frog, dear,
you're going to need me. Okay?"
Of course, they had to accept her, what choice did they have?
"Hey, wait, guys! There's a front door right there! We can
leave through that!" Gadget pointed out.
"No, Gadget! You never want to try to leave through the front
door, that is just what the ghosts would expect! Here, I'll show you.
Can someone stand on the wall next to the door so they'll be ready to
close it if the worst happens?"
Pennywinkel decided to be nice and volunteer.
"Good, stay right there. Now, I will show you what happens when
you try to use the front door."
Right before his hand even touched the knob though, Frog was
already thinking of all the wierd and monstrous things that could be
awaiting him just beyond the door. He knew this was no cartoony haunted
house, he wasn't just gonna see a fake banshee or something. No, he
might see a wierd spectral form, a dancing statue, two big red eyes,
or worst of the worst...
"Oh, darn it, Frog, You stand here and I'll open the door.
Obviously, I can handle demons, you can't."
When Frog was in position, Pennywinkel threw open the door.
What they saw was the most horrible sight the Rescue Rangers
had ever seen, more than they could ever imagine.
It was a large, black, demonic cat.
It didn't talk, but it did hiss, and it did have claws and
reptilian skin. The worst thing was probably the teeth and, worst
of all, the big, red eyes, that never left the Rangers even when the
cat looked somewhere else. It was watching them, in a predatory
fashion.
Frog quickly slammed the door, Pennywinkel hurried to lock it.
"See what I mean, guys?"
Gadget was the first to point out, "Look! There are eyes in
the windows!"
"What?" Frog exclaimed. He got to a point where he could see
them. Sure enough, there were big red eyes, like the ones the cat
had, but they looked more human.
Frog also noticed another detail.
"Guys, these eyes are coming right for us."
Everyone backed farther away from the windows, towards the
stairs. Eventually, when Chip started seeing faces in mirrors (And
not his own, if you get my drift) they ran up them.
At the top, they immediately ducked into a room where they
thought they were safe. They were, for awhile.
"What is going on?" Chip asked. "What kind of ghosts are
these?"
"Yea! We usually associate ghosts with big, white, transparent
things that go 'boo!'" Dale added.
"Well, Pennywinkel," Frog explained, "Got these ghosts from a
show called Sightings, which dealt with real hauntings, not cartoon ones."
"What do cartoons have to do with this?"
Gadget quite suddenly explained "Frog is from an alternate universe
where we are all just characters in a cartoon that kids watch on weekdays!
He even has the show's theme song on his computer!"
They gasped, except Monterey who's heard wierder stuff, and said
"Frog, is that true?"
Frog, being defensive again, said "Yes."
"Well," Chip said, "That makes sense out of a lot of things, but
it's not helping our current situation."
Just then, a cloaked figure came up through the floor. The Rangers
could make out no facial features of this man that was floating towards
them, probably because they were trying to get the door open.
Unfortunately, due to their fear, they couldn't even manage to
hold a grip on the thing.
The figure didn't wait, it floated right through them and out
the door. Chip and Dale both became suddenly stiff and pale with fright,
and fell.
"Chip! Dale!" Gadget yelled.
Chip was the first to move, and when he regained his abilities
of speech, he said "Gadget, I had the most terrifying vision."
Dale, who recovered soon after, said "Me too."
Frog had suddenly forgot his fears and said "Tell us about them."
Chip layed back down, and said "I dreamed that I was in a coffin,
dead, floating in some sort of grey abyss..."
Then the room started shaking. Looking around, Everyone saw that
the pictures, mirrors, and other portrayals of people all had faces staring
at them. watching their every move (Dumb Frog even walked a bit to be sure).
Pennywinkel was now getting a little nervous. She opened the door,
and told them all to filter out.
Once they did, she herself left the room, and closed the door,
just as one of the faces was looking around the corner.
"Pennywinkel?"
"What now, Frog? If you're going to point something out, whisper
it to me."
He whispered "I don't remember that deer-head being here. It's
watching me."
"Frog, Frog, Frog," Pennywinkel saw what he meant, but wasn't
sure what to think of it, as Frog had always been scared of deer-heads,
always believing they were watching him.
Gadget turned and said "Let's not find out about it. Chip and
Dale can not stand any more of this. I think if anything else happens,
they might have a heart attack!"
"Well, since you put it that way..." Pennywinkel snapped her
fingers, and Chip and Dale disappeared.
"Where are they?" Gadget asked excitedly.
"Oh, simple, in the interest of their well-being, I sent them
back to the Ranger headquarters. By now, the Earth has soaked in all
that water and the land is merely moist."
"That's great! But, what about us?"
Pennywinkel turned around, waved her arms rythmically, and
said "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"
They found themselves on what looked like a hallway like you
would see on the Starship Enterprise, except that this one was deserted,
just like the house was before the ghosts showed up.
Gadget grabbed Pennywinkel and said "Tell me what you've done
or I'm gonna..."
Frog offered up "I think she used an eighties reference to
teleport us to a deserted spaceship."
Now they all looked at Frog like he was an idiot or something.
Not long after they initially arrived did Frog see the one
thing he believed was the most terrifying sight in the world. He
tapped on Gadget's shoulder, and pointed to the left. She turned her
head very slowly, fearing what kind of monstrous beast she might see.
Now, any UFO researcher is probably familiar with the
classification of "Greys," some are big, some are small, some can
even walk through walls. They're big, with huge black eyes, and
almost totally featureless, and no one knows who they are or where
they come from. Some say they're friendly, peace-loving creatures,
others say that they are cruel and abusive.
Frog tried to hide behind everyone. These creatures, ever
since he first heard of them, have been his biggest fear, especially
these "Ghost Greys" he was now confronting.
"Frog, what are those?" Gadget asked.
"I don't know, and I'd just as soon not find out. They're an
alien life form..."
"Then they may be friendly!" Gadget said. Struck with this
inspiration, she walked up to them, and tried a few greetings in any
language she knew.
The Greys just looked at her, not really understanding but
not really looking like they were going to understand either.
Frog walked up, and said "Gadget, let me try." Then, looking
at the Greys, said "Ba weep grahnna weep ninnibon?"
The greys looked at each other, Frog got the impression that
they were thinking "I can't believe these idiots. You too? Neither
can I" then continued looking at Frog.
"Frog," Gadget asked, "What exactly did you just say?"
"I dunno for sure, but I've been told its the universal greeting."
They didn't have time for any more thought when they suddenly
fell unconscious.
When they awoke, they were back at the Ranger HQ, Chip and Dale
had long since recovered.
Gadget was the first to ask "What happened?"
Pennywinkel got up, and said "It's better you not know. No one
ever remembers those experiences unless they try, then they haunt you for
the rest of your life."
"But what are we doing back home?"
"Simple, the Greys had dropped us off in some random place,
not knowing where we came from, and I teleported us back here. Hey,
where's...? Oh, there he is."
Frog was having a hard time standing.

"So you see," Pennywinkel was explaining back at the Ranger HQ,
"our universe got dull and boring, what with corrupt corperations and a
flimsy government running things, so we decided we wanted to leave our
universe, and we did.
"After awhile of Buddy-Buddy, I figured our adventures would be
more interesting if I took me and my thought patterns and decided to
see what I could do as a villain. Of course I was careful not to
overstep the boundaries--Never kill anyone--but the one flaw was
that I had forgotten that Frog, due to his bad health, loses his
memories every time we trip a universe. He could remember some
details, but ended up believing that I had actually turned on him,
which put us at odds. I never bothered to try to explain it to him
until now, one because it would confuse the poor guy and two because
he would just forget again. So I played bad guy."
"And," Chip asked, "You're telling us and him all this now because
you plan to stick around in this universe?"
"Exactly."
"One thing still bugs me though. All this time, your one plan
seemed to be 'Capture Frog' now, if you had intentionally become evil
so he could battle you, what was the point of that?"
"Well, see, losing his memories made it personal. I felt he
would become disattached from me forever unless I got him back and
set him strait. Had to. He is my brother, after all."
Gadget then said "Well, now that that is all said and done, I
think we should put it all behind us and have fun."
They spent the rest of the day watching various assorted episodes
of He-Man, She-Ra, and BraveStarr that Pennywinkel had stockpiled.

[End of Episode, in fact, end of fanfic]

POST-EPISODE COMMENTARY: Umm, you just read a rushed ending?
Seriously, I did have some plans, but I decided, as I keep saying, that
it was better to establish an ending and move on.

-----

I would like to reassure everyone by mentioning something: I am
very, VERY fond of the idea of re-writing the story from scratch,
making it turn out differently, and calling it an "Alternate
Dimension" or whatever. Just because I say this is the "Last"
episode means that it is for THIS dimension.