The Return of Mothman
By 8-Bit Star
Authors Note: You all remember my "Mothman Prophecies" skit
from about a year
ago, of course. If you don't it's available on my site. Well,
having experienced a resurge of interest, I decided to do a sequel.
So...
*Music begins*
dadadadadadadadada
Mothman!
Mothman!
MOTHMAN!
Mothman!
dadadadadadadadada, MOTHMAN!
*Music ends*
Suddenly, Dale got up in the middle of the night and woke up Chip.
"CHIIIIP! My Ear's bleeding and I'm hearing buzzing sounds!"
"Oh, that's just Gadget... wait, your ear is bleeding?" Chip
checked. "You numbrain! That's just cherry syrup!"
"Oh no! My ear is bleeding Cherry Syrup! HEEEELP!"
Suddenly, the phone which the Rangers never knew they had, Rang.
"Hello?" Chip answered.
"Huff... Huff..."
"What?"
"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down! BIBIBIBI
DIBIBIDIBOBIDIBOO! 4747474747474747 Mr. Herman Mr. Herman Number
47 Mr. Herman!"
Suddenly, the wacko with the phone hung up, so did the other one.
Just then, the phone rang again.
"What?"
"This is the Mothman, I prophecize you are in a Halloween Skit
and will get a lot of phone calls on a phone you didn't know you
had. You've gotten one already. Your next one will be a death
threat. Oh, and Nimnul's up to something."
"Ummm.... thanks."
"Oh and Dale missed a new episode of Rainbow Brite. That is
going to upset him."
"I WHAT?!" Dale blurted out, before running out of the room in
a depressed rage.
"Well, gotta go, cheerio!" With that, Mothman hung up.
The Phone then rang YET AGAIN. Chip answered YET AGAIN.
"You're dead!" Said the voice on the phone. Chip hung up.
The next morning, Chip answered the rap tap tapping at the
chamber door. At the door stood a BIB (Bird in Black).
"Did you recieve odd phone calls last night?"
"Yes."
"No, you didn't."
"Forget you!"
"Fine then!" the BIB flew off, saying "Quote the Raven
nevermore!"
Then Dale ran in. "Chip! I've got SUNBURN!"
"From what?"
"The sun."
"Oh."
Suddenly the phone rang. "Hello?" Chip answered on a portable
he didn't know he had.
"this is Mothman. You just ticked off a BIB. He'll be back.
I prophecize you should dodge to the left." Chip did, but in his
confusion went right. "Other left!" Mothman corrected Chip, just
in time as a swarm of hardened pine needles stuck themselves in the
floor. "Now dodge to the right!" Chip did, "OTHER Right! Now,
stand right up and fight fight fight!"
*Pow!*
*Bam!*
*Thwack!*
Now if we knew what Chip was fighting, the above would mean
something.
Then Mothman said "Oh, Gadget's about to experience some angst.
What can I say, 8-Bit's a hypocrite."
"AHHHH!" Gadget screamed, "I just realized that I really DO
care about my nails and I just broke one!" Gadget ran off to join
Dale in the Mutual Depression Club, after which they got bored and
went to the Definately Out of Character Club instead.
"Hahahaha!" Nimnul laughed, "My vile conspiracies are complete!
Now knowledge of UFOs and MIBs the world over will be disavowed and
I will be a reverred scientist!"
Suddenly, his phone rang.
"Hello."
"Pick up the phone, stupid."
"Oh." He did so. "Hello?"
"This is the Mothman, I prophecize your evil schemes will be
stopped by a group of rodents."
"Oh gee, what a shock. But I've got that taken care of!"
"Your BIBs have already failed."
"Yes, but you didn't count on my latest invention, did you
Nostradamus?"
"Actually my name is Indrid."
"whatever." He hung up. "I'll show him! The world will bow
to me!"
It didn't take long for Nimnul to start showing. Immediately
he was in the park, and first he sent out his newest invention...
"BIIIIIIIIIIIIRDMAN!" The Robot yelled.
"What the heck?" Chip wondered.
Suddenly, Birdman threw lots of bolts of power at where Chip
was, and Chip dodged. "Oh dang, that thing is tough!"
Suddenly the phone rang. "Hello?"
"Get Gadget!"
"Okay."
So Chip high-tailed it to the Definately Out of Character Club
and said "Gadget, I need to talk to you..."
"BUT!" Said the Club Manager, "If she does anything IN
character, she gets kicked out of the club!"
Will Gadgt make the right choice and risk getting kicked, or
will my sense of humor allow Nimnul to prevail? Will Dale realize
that Rainbow Brite thing was nothing but a cruel joke? Will Birdman
be defeated? Will any more Hanna-Barbera rejects show up? All this
and more after the next few lines...
...
...
...
Okay, that's enough.
"I quit!" Gadget declared, "I wanna build something! Hand me
the phone, Chip!"
He did. Mothman whispered in her ear what he wanted her to do.
"Oh, I see! All yours, Chip." And Gadget randomly teleported back
to the Ranger HQ, so this fanfic wouldn't take any longer than it
has to.
When she was done, Birdman attacked. At that moment, Gadget
threw an umbrella up over him.
"AHHH! This Umbrella is blocking out the sun, my one and only
power source! I'm... shutting.. doooooowwwwwwwwnnnnn..."
"Rats!" Nimnul dratted. "But they'll never survive the wrath
of THE PLASTIC PREDATOR!" And, sure enough, Nimnul next sent out
a plastic toy that looked like a reject from the movie Predator!
"NOW what?" Chip wondered, and the phone rang again. "Hello?
Great idea!" Whatever it was, he acted on it, and went back to
the Definately Out of... Let's just call it the DOCC, okay?
At the DOCC, he found Dale, and bent to one knee.
"Gadget, I love you with all my heart and soul and well will
you marry me?"
"Umm, Chip, I'm not Gadget."
"Yea but we needed drama! Anyway Dale I need your help! Nimnul
has sent The Plastic Predator after us!"
"I've got just the thing! Take THIS package, but do NOT open
it until you get back to the battlefield!"
"Okay!"
Back on the Battlefield, Chip was menaced by the Plastic
Predator, until he opened the Package... and out jumped Hannibal
Lecter, the Action Figure, who cannibalises fellow plastics!
"Plastics? PLASTICS? Where? Where?" He wondered hungrily.
Then he spotted the Predator...
"Ahh! No! A Cannibal toy! AHHH! Don't eat me, I'm not
nutritious! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!" And that's all that's left
of the Plastic Predator.
"Well, I'm full. Now to go find dear ol' Clarice."
But Nimnul had one final trick up his sleeve. "Well Rangers,
see if you can beat THIS!"
And out from under a sheet came--Zanatos, in a steel Gargoyle
suit!
"Oh no, what now?"
But just then, the suit's internal phone rang. "Hello?"
"Hey, I'm the Mothman, and I prophecize you will be killed
whenever you hear the name of a historical native american."
Suddenly, in the background, a college student stated "man,
I'm glad they had this film about the life of Hiawatha."
Suddenly, the suit exploded, taking Zanatos with it.
Then Nimnul's own phone rang. "Hello?"
"I prophecize you will be hurt very badly if you stand on
anything yellow."
"Whatever."
Just as Nimnul hung up, however, he found he was standing on a
yellow line... right in the middle of the street. "Uh oh." He
squeaked, just as a truck ran by him, knocking him into the sky and
landing him in a Hospital.
"Well, that's that." Chip stated.
Suddenly his phone rang. "Hello?"
"I forgot to tell you this actually isn't a cordless phone. If
you pull the wire any farther, a disaster will happen. Step to the
left--THE OTHER LEFT! Oops, too late!"
As it happened, Chip pulling that cord caused telephone lines to
pull, which resulted in the lines that turned the crank and snapped
the plank and booted a marble down a shoot. Chip watched it roll
as it knocked a ball into a rub-a-dub tub which flipped a man into
a pan. A trap was set and down fell a net.
Unfortunately the net had been holding up Our Creator's Silver
Bridge Playset, and it fell atop the Ranger's city, and destroyed it.
"Told ya."
The end.
So, how did ya like THAT one?